How Do You Go On...

Suffering from an end of an engagement. My heart feels ripped out, worst part? He acts COMPLETELY fine. HOW? I know men act tough but this is just cruel. It has been a little less than a week and its like we never even knew each other. The first day of our break up he went out then messaged me saying he missed me and this was so hard and that the thought of another female was alien to him. The next day when I reach out to him he COMPLETELY ignores me. Was this part of his sick plan? sociopath? Whatever is running through that small brain of his it hurts. We were committed. I was supposed to be your wife, the mother of your children. Now you are going out partying talking to any female pushing me out of your life? How does one do that. I know its best to get your mind of things but to completely treat me as if i didn't existed hurts. I asked for closure but instead got blocked from social networks and ignored. I will not keep trying to talk to him, I will be strong but inside I'm falling apart. I want to know WHY and HOW a man in his older 20s can do and act like this. Is this all a front? Is it a coping mechanism? I guess the questions are eating me up inside. Am I really forgotten or is this how u forget? I feel as if I am a regular ex girlfriend that dated him for a week. Theres no more pain for him. Meanwhile I feel like crumbling apart..
Distraughtgirl Distraughtgirl
4 Responses Dec 14, 2012

I feel the same way. My fiance left about 2 months ago. We were together over 4 years. A couple nights after he left, he wrote me a long letter about how he loves me more than anything in the world and he will with all of his heart for the rest of his life. Then.. nothing but stone cold emails about getting deposits on venues back and such from his mother. As if we are total strangers. He barely even took any of his stuff. I believe that it is a coping mechanism to act like we never existed, but I also believe it won't work. It's going to follow him unless he actually takes the time to deal with it. In my head, I picture him happy and over me with a new girlfriend. (My mind is really the enemy right now). I had to delete facebook because I kept checking his and making up all these things in my head. I think, they have to be hurting. They have to be feeling guilty. They can't just forget that quick, if ever.

As the old saying goes there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Seeing his response to his breakup suggest it may be a blessing in disguise. If he cares so little about breaking up with you, it's best to know before you marry than afterward.

Did he even tell you why he was breaking up with you?

His ignoring you reflects an effort to protect himself from the pain of breaking up. Maybe your attempts to contact him just makes it harder on him. Bringing back memories he'd wish to forget.I'd say , give it time for things to cool down and in it's own time, things will work itself out. He needs to get away from the situation and his feelings. So do you. I wish you and him well.