It feels like all my friends are leaving me one by one. I lost my first friend because I was dumb and thought they loved me, since they said they did.. but he never had. So I lost him as a friend of mine, back in 2009 and he hasn't spoken with me since. I lost this Kenshin fan as a friend too, since she was saying that I shouldn't be gay, and the only reason I run away is because I want attention, nothing more.. but she never heard the whole story. I lost the Kenshin fan's husband irl as a friend as well, since he is on her side so o.o. I even lost this other guy as my friend, since he couldn't "handle my depression." Those are in his words too. I am even losing the one I love now.. since he believes what this Kenshin fan says over me. Maybe I am not worth being friends with, or worth having an online family.. my in real life sucked too. Since I tend to make people flee by how I talk, since another female friend told me this, that's why she left now as well. If my lover leaves too.. then maybe I should just disappear from this world. Maybe that first guy I dated was right.. maybe love isn't out there for me. Maybe I do talk too much, I have cronic depression, though it used to only be depression. My first guy I dated caused me to get cronic depression, I also have bipolar and those two things aren't good together at all. I can list all my symptoms too for both.. but people tell me to shut up all the time. I love to rant to get it off my chest.. anyhow ending it at this, I can keep ranting o.o.