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It Hurts

I feels so alone. I feel like no one understands. I feel like no one cares. I feel like no one wants me, but GOD. Im the only one in my family who fat lately ive had really hard. i dont even know where to begin. ummm it started in 2007 when i could actually remember things got bad my uncle died in an accident and my mom went to new york to see him and thats when it began i remember my parents trying to pay bills but they looked like they were struggling and and other uncle was getting married in a different country and my left for like two months to be at the wedding and she lost her job and i had to cut back on a lot and since my dad is the only one working theres money trouble and my parents started argueing in front of me and my parents always come and tell me there problems talk bad about my other parent and they make an accuse to stay because of me and now that my dad lost his job we were in the proccess of moving and my dad is staying his brothers and my mom is staying st her sisters and i go back and forth and my mom and dad had an arguement in front of everybody saying they gonna get a divorce and i kept crying and i was mad at my mom because i felt like she didnt understand him at all and at night she told me that im on his side and from now on im not gonna see him we gonna split up and she told me why she hates him an all she told me that he hit her when i was little and choked her and she told me shes still with him because of me and i could think about am i the reason for all this i didnt even do anything and my mom treats me so different we were at the laundry place with my cousins and she would call them sweet nick names and she yell sat me and on top of that im fat im 13 about 5'4 and 181 pounds and i practically live with my cousins right now and there so skinny and beautiful im with them every day and when i look my self in the mirror i hate myself i look so ugly and my family has to be so confronting and say anything to me my uncle which hate called me a word in another language but in english its like a person that eats so much but i was eating one thing and i asked what it was and the only thing that makes me happy is my dog and she was sick and i felt so scared because we could afford to go to the vet and my period didnt come for two months and i read on line its stress I HATE MY LIFE!!!!
coco967 coco967 22-25, F Jul 2, 2012

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