Purpose Of My Life

like a positive thought i always feel that there is a special person in me and i feel always .....but life is not always comfortable for me from past to present and still ..... i was born in a family where my father had a good salary job .....my mother was illiterate and i have a mental retired brother...........from child hood and still at present a feel myself very alone therefore books are my best friend and i love to read books .......since my childhood was never being a happier part of my life and there are thousand of things which makes me different from others and that's why i treat myself a special person .....due to loneliness i become very gothic and i was considering that i don't belong to this selfish world and really life was very challenging for me ....i feel difficult to be socialize with people and i feel shy ............i have a great communication skills but dont like to use it in daily life all i am filled with negativity ............but my subconcious mind is very powerful ......and i feel that i am not alone but still every day of my life i try myself to be busy and get rid of negative thought ......my father was a heavy drinker and always used to abuse me all the time because i was very poor student ,,,,,,,,,,,,,he always use to quarrel with my mother since my mother didn't not had any education and she always used to respond my father in weird way .............and the biggest problem my brother ...........that was hell for me ,,,,,,,,,,,how to adjust with my brother i still wonder and feel alone ,,,,,,he is mental retired and does not know any thing ,,,,,,,,,,,,,and i still feel worried for him ,,,,,,,,,,,i have no good friends in my life my mind is lost i eat food like mad person my mind is not stable and i feel my life like a big big challenge ................i dont know what to do ..............