No Friends, No Family, No Job, No Life

Well everyone has a story I suppose. I experienced several traumas in my childhood, sexual abuse from my mom, my dad was a rager and almost certainly mentally ill, my brother picked on me constantly for years and years. We moved around a lot, from El Salvador to Guatemala, To Florida, to Michigan.....I lived in about thirteen different places by the time I was fifteen I think. I was was the youngest in my family, but I always knew they didn't want me around and they didn't seem to love me at all or want me. I was just around to be their scapegoat and take the blame for everything. It all took its toll on me and I have become extremely withdrawn and isolated. I have no friends, no family, no job, no life.

Like I said, it all took its toll. I am now thirty five and in such a dark and dreary place, I don't know what to do. I have no job and am on SSI and foodstamps. I drive the most trashy car in traffic. I feel ashamed of where I am in my life and of myself. I went to school and have a college degree, but these nightmares from my past have seemed to persisted in stopping me from living the life I want to live. I have no relationship at all with my parents. I have confronted my mom directly about my abuse and will never speak to her again.

I really have many social problems as a result. I must have social phobia or social anxiety. I never had a girlfriend until I was thirty three, basically because of what my mom did to me, I avoided women. My first girlfriend was a much older woman who has taught me about sex and love. She was my therapist, the first person I ever trusted enough to tell her about my abuse. But she is so much older than me that it is inevitable we must separate. She is all I have, and knowing I must go on a build some kind of life for myself is hard. Because right now I have nothing, but her. She is my friend and loves me, so I do have one friend I suppose. But I don't know what to do after we end our relationship, which is likely to be soon. Not because we want to, but because of our age differences. We have been together for two and half years. It's been like any relationship, ups and downs.

I want a job, and apply for them, but I have a phobia of phones and calling back when I do get called is hard. Sometimes I have managed to go to interviews, but did not get hired. It is all extremely depressing. I know if I am to build a life for myself I need a job, because everything else leads from that. Friends, a girlfriend my age, etc. Sometimes I cant leave my house because I am ashamed of how I look in my car. And I have nowhere to go, nor anyone to go see. I am so extremely depressed, doing anything is difficult. I feel like I have given up and lost all hope.

But just writing about it seems to help me. I don't even care if anyone ever reads this. I am really doing it just for me. I am so tired of feeling all alone, of not having a more or less normal life, of being isolated, of feeling powerless to change it. How do I find that energy to get out of this dark hole that is my empty life?

Strelok27 Strelok27
31-35
27 Responses Sep 16, 2012

Male 41 lost or more to the point lost what was not taken. My wife or ex wife took me for everything once she got where she wanted to be. I have zero family, zero friends no support. It was a soul killing heart breaking divorce. My soul has barely enough life to keep me breathing. Other than that my story is about the same as all of you. "All of us need each other " I my self have not been out side in almost a year. We can't be fixed there's nothing to fix. Society has been broken. I feel I have family out there all of you. Maybe one day we will all find each other someday. Try not to feel alone my family for you have many of us out here in the world.

I most definitely am the same way and xant understand why

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I'm sorry for all your pain. I feel like life is closing in on me..ive been applying for jobs left right and centre but to no avail. My love life is non existent, ive never had a relationship before, just alot of casual sex partners but nothing real.I think I have something missing in my personality, an abnormality that turns people off me, though I try so hard to be friendly. I pray to God every day and i try so hard to believe in Him but it seems like things are becoming futile. I just want to be respected by people, experience the good side of love. I feel hurt, tired and bewildered. Dont get me wrong, alot of bad things that have happened in my life are my own doing...but i might have made better choices if i didnt keep getting rejected. Anyway, that's me. Felt good sharing this.

I'm sorry for ur pain. The agony of the reality of your situation and constant chatter inside my head make me feel stupid for responding and I have no idea u ever know I read about it, but I feel compelled to tell u don't lose hope. First off, I am a Christian. I believe in God. I believe positive thoughts, actions, and attitudes do nurture more positive outcomes, but I know that living today is way more negative. My income relies on Ssdi (abject poverty) $926 -$105 for Medicare premium. My mom thank God for her pays my phone & cable bill cuz she feels sorry for me. That or else she knows I'll hurt myself if I think I'm all alone. I guess I'm being unemployable cuz of college loans debt/no car/too old -whatever- is a depressing drain and I'm not enjoying life. I ask God to take me Home cuz I'm nothing. No one cares about me. People only talk to me when they need something. It's never EVER for my benefit. So, God is Who I talk to all day and my dog. My son hates me and is severely psychotic and has hit me multiple times when he wanted his own way. He's 23 in a few days. Im adopted. The family that adopted me broke up 4 yrs later. But, all the other family members have wonderful family life, jobs, homes, enjoy moderate financial-extreme financial success, educated, status, and Facebook friendly. I am miserable. I cry. I rage. I am wounded. Bewildered. Finally, I met a man (he was older & bald) and fell in love. Thought I would finally have s purpose and realize my reason for being here, but he unexpectedly died suddenly and then everything got way worse. Began to hurt myself and throw tantrums until I'm so spent I finally sleep. I've begun to have seizures again. My last one so mild, my "friend" left. One minute we r talking, then I'm waking up w/ metallic taste & phone call confirms seizure by him but offers no reason for taking off. That's a whole new problem too. I am taking meds but my doctor is an idiot. Currently this doctor prescribes exactly same thing every month since May 2013 and doesn't listen to my symptoms or problems or increase dosage. I'm a freaking waste of space and she is paid good money to keep me thinking like that cuz she does nothing to improve my situation. I've done almost anything and everything (more obnoxious the better), drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, recklessness, bible school, overseas missionary, 13 yrs of college w/ no degree, illegitimate child, abortion, beaten, attacked, few relationships, hundreds of unprotected sex partners, sexually molested, abused, exploited and raped, threatened, lied to, cheated on, was the cheater, living like the devil, etc ... But I talk to God. Named my dog "Joy" so I'd be happy. I'm not. But she's spoiled and I love her. Every single day I thank God for her.
So, if u can afford it I suggest u get a pet cuz they can really fill that vast hole in ur heart. But if u r unable to have a pet, pray.

I feel just like this. Ive had a decent life but im always alone. Im 40 I dont have a job. And just like you im terrified of phoning back or even awnsering the phone.Finally found someone a couple of months ago for once i had a bit of happiness but it was long distance and she needed someone close. I just dont have the money to move to another country. She is now moving on and im devastated. I also made so many wrong choices that im stuck i dont know which way to turn. I just see my life going further and further downhill. I don't know what to do anymore I had enough.

Hi I read this because I feel like it's me in the description, you're probably better now then before Because time heals.. I'm married and my wife is Turkish she moved out here to be with me and while she was here we decided to get married and we did we had a small ceremony because we couldn't afford anything and I was getting paid nearly $8.00 an hour she couldn't work because she's still waiting on her work authorization to come if she gets it, but I've always been alone I worked with my family because it was a family owned business but I wasn't getting paid because my dad didn't believe in paying if you lived in the house well at that time I was 12 so where else I was supposed to look , but I endured took a lot of abuse over the years my family is Muslim and we have Christian in our family also but even religion couldn't help me all my years in life it's a daily struggle a lot of people go through some worse then others ., I have absolutely no one to turn to because it seems everyone is busy or they are looking for a qualified person for work or ect., I drive a car with no insurance imagine that , imagine how risky it is , even when I had a job it wasn't enough to pay for everything I even went back to get my GED to be relevant and also went a few courses in college but it all came
Out to you have to pay for everything in this life ., I'm not asking for anything from anyone I can not blame anyone for this because no one is perfect and even if things fall apart for me I can only remember what I've been through no medication can tell me different , if anyone is reading this please know even when you are ultimately suffering and no hope in sight one day it will be better because if there is a will then there is a way. SAM

I have the same issues.I found the only thing keeping me from going rogue is everyone here and everywhere else who hurt this bad. I wont give be the one who stops trying to stand instead id rather try and help those who have also fallen because im used to the beating

I would like to reply first off I notice a lot of your replies are from other men. I am a female in my twenties let me tell you a bit about me... My father passed at age 12 right around that time I was raped by a guy in a bathroom at a teen club( which would be one of many times) all my friends at school knew about it and I went off track got into drugs met this guy who was 28 looked young but later I realized he was a ********* ... He would call me his " little **** star" this guy ruined my life I was " with " him from 12-16 and then I went and got away finally by dating one of his friends which was great until after two years he became physically and extremely emotionally avusive he would say " go get raped" and break things pull my by the hair, hit me in the mouth, drag me down the cement... Just horrible to this day I still feel like i " love" him though I hate him.
I came from a very very good family my father was a detective had guy arrested that night he called when got out jail I didn't get what he was... My mother best mother gave me all I needed or wantef it was just I wanted to get out and they were very over protective for the obvious reasons. Anyways the second guy as the first I stayed with for 9 years of abuse he was a drunk so it was like jeckle and Hyde ... Was his idea to move and that's what I did then he left after I saved his life from avyually dying of an overdose sometimes I wish I didnt. So now I'm alone about 3 months after he left I met a guy and married him he www a good guy though I treated him like completly garbage I still wanted my ex... I divorced him as for my work I modeled all those years and that caused a lot of fighting between ex and I... I been on many prescription drugs and stayed on two Til now. I cannot get off of them. The point is my past has defiantly destroyed my future but I'm trying and real hard and its bad everyone I kno is married happy with children ... I don't have a career 0r significant other and I used to have lots of friends now I just completly isolated myself I don't know if this helps though if you keep trying better yourself it helps and the anxiety I use be like you not be able to into a gas station felt stupid and I feel stupid now like you say you feel dumb for not having somewhere to go I get that it is defiantly extream social anxiety I not saying medication the answer though it its to that point I would take it as I do cause I have to.... A lot of my issues are due to all the rapes and sexual adults the last one was a gang rape at 21 so I am at least moved away from where all that happened and I look at it as fresh start away.. I want my family but I causrd them so much pain they love/ hate me so my mother I want her love me but a lot times she just is so awful to me lucjiky have an aunt that fills her place over phone ... I go out alone and I utilize websites like "'meetup.com" to meet friends in area and I have though I still do not have my life together and it's empty and scary but you are not by any means alone you just need to move on and do best you can

I feel like I'm not interested in anyone anymore and I try and try and try with jobs but similar thing will happen or I can't hold the job... I Don't have the answers but I know the main issue is your childhood but If you are selective and let right person in it will be only better I'm still waiting for mine and during meantime working on myself

i'm a 68 year old man. My oldest son told his mother he was going to defecate on her grave cause she wouldn't give him a $1,000 for a foot race as he was munching off his wife. My wife killed herself after crying for 5 years. He tells me he wouldn't want me to kill myself but he wouldn't lose any sleep over it. I'm all alone. I've seen therapist. There is no answer. You can't put a question mark where god puts a period. It is what it is. I cry every day. Why i wait for the next day is beyound rational thought.

Hello, I feel your pain and I must say hat your story sounds very close to mine. I wish I could reach out and hug you and to let you know that you are still very young, and you can overcome this experience. I did, and I strongly believe that you can too. It is not difficult, but it can take some time providing that you have started the journey to recovery. The longer you wait to get started on this journey, the longer it will take to recover. You are welcome to communicate with me via face book, if need to. I have been there and I can relate to what you are going through. Carlos Antonio Raymond, Face Book.

I have a wired advice but try it its work chang your name i mean your real name and imagin a new you
Study of letters show that some name are so heavy and bring suffer and trubles to their owner so try chang your name it take 3 month to show a results i read about it
So much love to you

I get it , life sucks.

Hello Human. I am really sad to read about your past and the way you feel about your life, but there is hope. You are a human like everyone else, though you don´t feel like it, everyone has their issues. I have had a lot of issues and still have due to a tough childhood, both from family and school, but I think I am heading in the right direction and am finally finding love in myself. As this progresses I find a need to help others, which is why I write this. I do not want to write how you should think, do things, live, but I want to listen and try to help you, if you want someone to talk to. I dont know how to get in touch except by email which is yourfriend 1990 norway hot mail com. Without the spaces though.

I read this, and I care - feel exactly (more or less) same... scapegoat of Narcissistic Mother, now isolate, imagine for self preservence. Am 'settled' in, made peace with my solitude, but often fear what will happen when I am very old and need care - fear I will be a homeless old woman who dies on the street - nameless, with no one :'-(

I am 30 unemployed with no friends. I have never had a girlfriend. In high school, I got teased really bad which killed my social confidence and self esteem. People called me "you big dopey bastard". All my friends ended up thinking that I was a joke and telling me so. Since high school I pretty much became a hermit because I felt that no one liked me.

After high school, I figured I may be a social failure but perhaps I can at least get a good job. So I just spent all my time studying. I never socialised.

I got first class honours in an Engineering Degree. No company will hire me though because of my lack of people skills, confidence and life experience. It seems being introverted, unlikable and not a people person is something that you never stop paying for.

It is really painful watching all the people I went to high school with posting pictures on Facebook of their wives and new babies, buying houses, having awesome jobs. The same people who teased me and made me feel like I was nothing in high school.

I am still living with my parents with no friends, getting rejected for jobs at Mcdonalds, Target etc

you need jesus man

A relationship with your therapist? That's illegal.

I just got on to this page cos all throughout my life I have had no one and I'm only 17. Im very shy and have never had any real friends around me. I have no family, only ones that treat me like dirt. Me and my families dirt poor because my mum wont even get a job because the benefits will cut half of it. My "family" nag at me to get a job, I've applied for loads but I was severely bullied at school so I missed out on lessons,school and 2 of the exams, so basically i failed and cant get anywhere. I applied for college but no one would take me and it was like 7pm-9pm at night so no buses past 8. I literally can't get anywhere, it was my birthday 2 weeks ago and half of it was spent on food, but we have **** all and I'm always hungry anyways. I only went on the bus by my self and brought a t-shirt and trousers and put £10 and that didn't last cos again i had to top up my phone like £5 and the other £5s went on food yet again. I live in a ****** town in Somerset, uk, its true about all the inbreds that live here, if you have heard the story, everyones related to each other, its ****** up. I cant get anywhere cos me and my family have no money, my mum gets paid once a fortnight one hundred and something poxy quid that most has to go on council tax, bills, WiFi (£5 that lasts 3 days) etc and food that lasts only a few days. My family is the WORST, they moan at me and my sister all the time about jobs, even though ny sister works part time, they're not normal at all, they have never once been nice to us, even when we were little, they forced food down out throats, when we had enough, they threatened to take away our xmasbirthday presents cos apparently we didn't like it, when we did but they are so ****** up we had to put on a forced smile. I've never had a bf, when most ppl and younger have had several..I'm like the shyest person you'll know cos of my life backround. I want life to get better and have a meaning for waking up, like having a bf good friendsmoneya supportive familycollegea job..

Crazy I'm not the only one also. I have been dying of depression for long time. Sum times even wana blow me brain s out. But I'm to much of a coward. I lost my son his mom . I messed up in my teens now I'm paying for it . From money school job my family left me . But then I look at everything & say **** it. " WORSE THINGS HAPPEN TO BETTER PEOPLE" & I live on the daily struggle with lapses of pure happiness.Ten depression. Life is hard guys. Meant to be . Only thing gets me through life is my pure stubborness of being a ***** weak . BC that's what one is . Ya life can n will break ya. But **** that . I force myself to do things . To have fun. I to have social anxiety. God bless

If your out there still, I came upon this because I just typed I have no friends nor family. I would really like if we could exchanged emails just someone to talk to that understands the "STRUGGLE" I'm myself have no one and to be honest I'm terrified I'm 25 lost in a dark world

I relate but not entirely,I'm a 37 year old unemployed woman. I was sexually abused by my cousin at the age of 9,after that I experienced a lot of sexual abuse by different family friends. My life is a mess,nothing is going my way,I have matric and some short courses but its hard for me to get a job. I'm in a relationship with a 41 year old man but life is difficult,he has 6kids and he doesn't earn much. My family thinks I don't get a job because I don't want to get one,they don't know the pain of being a dependant at this age. I decided to leave my family as I realised that they are judging me,I'm now staying with my boyfriend and life is so difficult. I cry everyday when I see people progressing infront of me,when people post their progress on facebook,I feel bitter. I don't know what I have done to deserve this kinda punishment. In SA you get hired by age and experience so that means I will never get a job and I can't even start a business cause the only cent my boyfriend have is for food. My friends are no longer intouch with me because I don't fit in their lives. I'm hiv positive and my shape changed because of arvs side effects. I don't go out,I like staying behind closed doors,my confidence died,I truly do not know how to pick up myself.:'( life is too much for me. I pray everyday and plead my case to God but no change,maybe I was born to suffer,I just need the strength to accept that. I'm so alone too,its only me and my bf and our relationship isn't that tight cause I'm always crying and he doesn't understand why. I hope I will feel a lil better now that I shared my story. I've been through hell I don't know why I'm still alive.

I want to be your friend, contact me on Facebook, my name is Rachel Tiffany Prather.

I can relate with u though not entirely. I am 47 and live with my parents. I have no girl friend ( never ) very low in confidence. Barely manage with the money I make, but few yrs back i forced myself to join a gym and felt good about myself and having succeeded there. I decided I learn swimming and Guitar. Recently I started learning how to drive and bought a car. Love going on long drives but still no girl friend. Definitely a void is there but it is still better then what I was few yrs back. My suggestion is do something which you always thought you cannot do, let it be a small things like talking to a complete stranger or doing a jig in a crowded place

I'm about to turn 21, i was abused by my best friend, my cousin, when i was around 7 years old, up until i was about 13. those years of my life are gone, and because of him, i had to leave the place that i loved, and all my friends. after we moved, i met a girl, thought i loved her, but she turned out to be a total ***** and was into BDSM **** and that messed my head up a lot, that and she dropped me like a rock and was more than likely cheating on me. after her, i jumped almost exactly after, into a relationship with the girl i just broke up with today. at first i was an ***, but she forgave me and we went on for 2 years and everything was great, until she decided she wanted to be a wiccan and changed a lot on me, started getting tattoos, i just found out she had tarot cards and that she didnt tell me. also, im pretty sure she might have cheated on me too because she went to "hang out with a friend" two a clock in the morning, not just once, but a few times, then went dancing at a slutty hookah bar, wearing a shirt that looks like a corset, and then went to an after party and back to the guys house to drink, so yeah, pretty sure she's a ******* liar. Both women ****** my head up, A LOT. all my friends have moved away and dont want to hang out, the only way i can is like, playing minecraft on the computer or some **** because that's all his computer will run. im currently unemployed recently, unemployment is a *****, i have no food stamps, no income, im at my parents house with my sister but she hates me for some reason and judges every thing that i do. there's no food in the damn house. my dad has prostate cancer and its genetic so i might get it later on too. ive never been with a skinny girl, not relevant but whatever. i've never had the joy of giving a girl a piggy back, or holding her, or picking her up when she's sleeping and take her to the bed. I want a life, a girl, a job, and a daughter and a son. Thing is, i tested into english 102, calculus, and advanced classes, i'm good with technology and was going for a digital forensics degree but stopped going. now i have lots of money in collections, my wages might get garnished if i DO ever get a job in this shithole state with no ******* jobs. I HAVE NOTHING, my dad is working away on top of some mines somewhere, he's never here. **** MY LIFE. i don't even care anymore, there's a damn rifle right next to me in my dads room, and i've really been thinking about "the other option" recently. this world ****** me the **** off, and i've had about enough. IDK what the **** to do or where to go with my life anymore, because of what happened to me i'm stuck in the place i grew up and im stuck as a kid. I dont know how to be an adult, how to make friends my age, how to be mature, how to court women like a gentleman. i'm nothing, my life is nothing, this world is nothing, and i have nothing. **** it.

I'm where you r , but much older. I wasn't sexually abused, but I learned that neglect is a type of abuse. I do have some people that think they love me, but I live in total isolation. I wish u the best, and I know you will find peace & happiness!!! U have much more life ahead of u than I do.
Count the blessings you have, watch how u can help others, and be happy!!!

I am a 50 year old female. I too felt that my parent did not want me around growing up. I have not seen my mother for 30 years. I believe that she did not teach me about life such as boundaries, standing up for my needs. She did use me to clean her house. She did not encourage her children to have relationships with each other, therefore we don't. I never married or had children. My two sisters are married and have children. I have never met their children.

I had a friend at work for the last six years, but she has been snapping at me so we agreed not to take breaks together any more. This is emotionally upsetting for me. She has family and makes friends easily and people like her so it's no big deal for her to tell me to take a hike. Whereas, this only isolates me more.

I spend Thanksgiving and Christmas alone. I've tried to let others adopt me for the holidays, but they don't seem interested. Makes me feel like they don't like me. Seems like no one likes me due to my lack of social skills and probably my personality style which is reserved and passive.

I'm getting very emotional as I write this. But it is a difficult time of the year with the holidays. I spent the year collecting DVDs so I can watch movies during Christmas so I don't have to channel surf and see all the crap on tv.

If I could tell people what I honestly think when they ask me, "how are you?" I would like to be able to say "I'm still alive damn it!"

Hello,

You said you have a College degree so you must be pretty clever. I know what it's like to have zero self-confidence. From what I read, it seems that's what's stopping you from getting to the life you crave and deserve. I think the most depressing thought for most people is feeling like they're not where they expect to be in their lives. At least that's my own take on it from what I've seen and experienced(ing).

Concentrate on gaining self confidence. I know it's not as easy as saying it but once you're happy with yourself and content in your self image, nothing else will matter and nothing can stop you then from taking the World head on (and winning!). I wish you the best.

Hope this helps!
Regards.

Hey I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship thought I crave nothing more than that. I also have 0 friends. One of my ex friends got married and now is a father.... it seems everyone is going places in their lives and I'm just stuck here alone and sad. I hope you get out there and get the life you want, for the both of our sakes.