Why Do I Feel So Alone?

The first thanksgiving this year with no family or friends here. I feel so sad. My husband and I are not speaking right now. It was a long 4 days off work. We had an argument over something very stupid, so I refused to ride in a car with him for 3 hours listening to his mouth. So we didn't go to visit family for Thanksgiving. I can't shake this silence. Usually I'm good without speaking for a few days, but for some reason this is too hard. I wish my mom were still with me, so I could talk to her. I guess I always think things are always worse than they really are. I've been married 15 years and everytime we get into an argument, I feel, the only way it will end is that he'll end up leaving. Although he never has left. My first husband committed suicide after an argument, so I'm guessing that's where my feelings of abandonment come from. I'm just lonely today. Thanks for listening.
darkandlost darkandlost
Nov 26, 2012