Alone But Surrounded By People

I am married with three wonderful children but I feel like I am so alone. I work from 8:00 am-5:00 pm and my husband works from 4:00 pm-12:00 am. I have to do all of the housework, and all he does is sleep. When he's not at work, he's only awake about 2 hours a day. I have to deal with taking the kids everywhere and when he does have to do anything with the kids, he starts fussing. My kids are great. I know that they love me, but I can't talk to them like I would if they were adults.

My dad divorced my mom when I was I was 27 to be with another woman. My dad secretly dated this other woman from 1995 until 2011, when he finally married her. Me and the woman do not get along and I feel like she is taking my dad away from me. They live in Georgia so, at least, I don't have to see them everyday. My mom lives right next door to me and I see how she struggles to make ends meet and I blame it on my dad for leaving her the way he did.

My husband and I both have dead end jobs that makes pennies and recently we had to file bankruptcy. You would think getting rid of most of our bills would make us have more money, but it seems like we are worse off now than before. I guess it's because it's December and Christmas is coming and I want my kids to get everything that they want but I can barely scrap to get them anything.

My husband is also on all kinds of meds for various things. I think him being on all of that medication is what makes him so sleepy all the time. I also think that he doesn't need to be on over half of what he is taking. I think he's addicted to his pain medicine. He's able to charge his medication at the drug store and he won't do it. When I ask him to (when we don't have the money) he's always like, I just charged it last month. Who cares!! As long as we pay the bill before you charge it again? He'll charge car parts at the local repair shop though and won't think twice about it.

The only outlet I have is my karate class. I am very attracted to one of my karate instructors and I think he's attracted to me but there is a 16 year age difference. I would like to find out if the feeling is mutual but I'm not sure how to go about it without cheating on my husband.

I know I should turn to God with all my troubles and he will provide. I know these are all tests and trials but I still feel so alone.
rayray74 rayray74
36-40
1 Response Dec 4, 2012

Do you love your husband? If not, maybe it is best for you and your family to not have so much negativity around constantly and you may want to end your marriage. If you do want to stay married, please do not look into things with this other man. After all, you are not fond of the woman who hurt your mother so much(I am assuming she was very hurt). Please talk to your husband's doctor about the problems with his sleepiness and your opinions about his medication. Also, it can't hurt to apply to lots of jobs in the hopes of aligning your schedules better. Just some advice.