Sad And Alone

My husband and I have been married for 9.5 years.  Usually, things are good... but he doesn't understand my stress.  He screamed at me for being stressed out and said I was making him miserable.  He put his hands on my shoulders and said I wasn't listening to him...

I have a paper due in the morning because I'm in graduate school.  This paper is hard to write because the professor is unusually exacting and everyone else in the class will see my writing.  And now I feel completely alone trying to work on this... all I can think about is my husband screaming at me.

Wyntre Wyntre
31-35, F
10 Responses Nov 27, 2009

listen i am no wise person but its great that your continuing your education,it will help you in the long run.your husband needs to get a grip. life is to short not to stop and smell the roses, it takes 2 to make things work.good luck have patients.

If he lays hands on you in any way, you should get lost in a hurry. It'll only get worse later.<br />
<br />
As for your prof: Those ****** thrive on domination & perversity. Don't let'm do it. The emperor has no clothes<br />
<br />

I have been in a similar situation.<br />
Congratulations for being in graduate school! That is so awesome and you should be very proud of your accomplishments. You seem to have it together and this may be making your husband a 'tad' uncomfortable. Some men (my guy) appear very together and secure in who they are. However, your being successful 'could' mean you have options in your life. Options really seem to 'freak' some guys out, this is what I noticed while I was trying to go to school and have young children. As many times as my husband would say he was supportive, he was never around when I had papers due and whiny kids that needed attention. Somehow you WILL do it, then tend to his screaming at you. What I've learned is that his screaming at you could be for something entirely not about what he was screaming at you for... so decisions, decisions... paper due or husband' screaming? you may want to keep your 'options' open. (-;

I can only tell you ladies that from my experience with men and that have only been a few in my 42 years on this planet that no matter how they push your buttons and try to make you feel like you are worthless and insecure and are so not....they use this as a crutch to make you seem weak again of which you are so not. Hold you heads high ladies. I have gone from nothing to everything in the normal world not Hollywood...I have had men that have told me I'd be nothing without them and kicked them out of my sorry home/..but it was MY home and even if it wasn't I knew for sure I'd make my own one day without the abuse and entitlement they so felt they deserved. I **** in their general direction ladies and stand tall today. And so will you.<br />
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God bless you all.<br />
<br />
Simply Sarah

I am so, so sad to hear about your pain and I can relate to that. My downfall began in 1999 with major anxiety and depression. I know people say that no one has control over how someone can make you feel and that no one "makes" you feel that way....but..when you are living with your spouse you are afffected by how they treat you. You ask yourself "what am I doing wrong" . I always believed that marraige was a partnership...two people working together towards the same goal. Supporting and helping each other and being there for each other when things are at their worst. Feel like such a dummy for actually believing that that is a possibility - in my relationship anyway. Some men are so inconsiderate and narcisisstic and they swear they have no clue. <br />
I have 3 wonderful children and married for 22 yrs - been sticking it out for them (Yes, I know I shouldnt have) but I have no family/friends to turn to - so I do feel trapped. Not many places to go when you don't have any. I dedicated my life to my family, like so many women, looking for the impossible dream of actual happiness that I lost myself in the interim. Please know that you are NOT ALONE. Our pain is real and gut wrenching. The loneliness...almost impossible to bear at times. During my depression/anxiety I was crying so bad one morning before he left for work and I asked him to please help me and stay with me - I didn't even know what to do - He then grabbed me by more shoulders and threw me to the floor and said" Get away from me you sick F*!@#g *****" and walked out the door. I just wanted to die...literally - my children have saved me too. I thank God everyday as they are my true angels. I am trying to get myself to divorce him and I know I need to - I deserve happiness...just as you do....we all do. Whether my happiness is meant for me to be enjoyed alone or w/someone else in time - that will be determined later. You are NOT crazy - it is just your situation. good to yourself . YOU MATTER so much and you especially matter to your beautiful children. God bless. xoxo :)

I would suggest to him that he is stressed also and taking it out on you. If he cared about you at all he would be supporting you in your extremely stressful graduate studies.

he shoud not screem at you<br />
from a guy who has a lingerie fettish<br />
stocking with lace at the Top<br />
hooker Boots

This all makes me sick....because women DESERVE BETTER! Why do we pick up these 'piece of trash men' and think we'll change them?! It's crazy! If someone loves you, they treat you right, properly, with respect!,etc. I know you'll do the best 4 u! Best wishes!

That is the aweful thing with stress, emotional or mental, it causes tension,, one or the other gets impatiant because they don't understand, what the other is going through. I think you're husband needs to listen to you, it's making you both miserable, he needs to support you, not scream at you, that isn't doing anyone any good, just making matters worse in my view,. Sounds to me too, you're Professor is too demanding, and you seem nervous or embarrassed if you're peers see you're paper,. <br />
I hope everything goes well for you tomorrow. with the paper, and you're relations with you're husband,.

I am so sorry about that. I hope your paper goes well, and that things might get better for you with your husband. If things keep up, what you might want to do, is write the things that are making you stressed out, show it to your husband, so he will see it, he can't yell and interrupt you that way.