Stuck Like Chuck

I have been in this marriage for 19 yrs and I truly do love my husband but he has some ways about him that I totally hate. Okay, we own a bar and I manage it but I do have a problem with alcohol which is not the right thing for me to be going through. I am in counseling for this very thing but my husband doesn't believe that I am going to quit drinking. I say I am stuck because I have MS and basically survive on disability and don't ever have to ask my husband for anything...until now. He said I am not to work at the bar until I get the problem resolved and I have to give him $700.00 a month to live here and he is going to collect the money they were paying me to run the bar and he is gonna take over the paperwork and such duties. I have a major problem with this because for one my husband doesn't have a regular job and when the bar doesn't make money he doesn't collect his typical $2000.00 a month just for being part owner, he is now attending college fulltime and the only reason he is able to do that is because my disability enables him to use my money as his household income and in the state where we live-the state assists with such endeavors. He has become quite controlling and he says because I have become manipulative. I am working on my problem with the alcohol but it didn't happen to me overnight so I feel he should be more supportive and patient. When we were first married my husband got two DWI's which I had to help pay for those and he still goes out and gets drunk but it is okay for him he says he don't like it when I get drunk because I am too voicterous. I am that way when I am sober too he just doesnt pay attention. I hope somebody can shed some light on this for me.
avonex1 avonex1
36-40, F
1 Response Oct 15, 2010

NO.... this is wrong. I am a recovering alcoholic in AA so I have some experience with this. You CAN manage the bar and not drink. No one has the authority to tell you that you MUST stop doing this and that you MUST give your husband ANY amount of money to live in the house that you BOTH own.<br />
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You have the right to stay independent. I seriously believe that your husband is manipulating the situation to his advantage. Please -- do NOT surrender your rights to him at this time. But DO consider the advantages of getting together with other recovering alcoholics in AA and learn how to deal with this.<br />
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