Why Is He So Mean To Me?????

Gosh, I'm not sure I understand why men are so mean sometimes :(
I do everything.. I mean EVERYTHING.. laundry, cook, clean, help him with all of his stuff and I just get told that I am "shafting him" because I want to borrow $20.

So much for being a team.

$20 dollars. Really?  I wanted to use it to get something for my business that I am trying to set up - on my own as I have no support from him, so it seems - I would have put that money back tomorrow.  Yet I am wasting money we don't have?!?!? The lazy bastard is paying some guy $80 to mow the lawns because he can't be bothered.

Yet here I am feeling like the biggest lump of **** in the world - yet again.

I'm really starting to hate him.  BIG TIME.
bekahnz bekahnz
3 Responses Feb 19, 2012

Look people, men say women are mean and women say men are mean. The truth is human beings are mean. Men and women. Living with someone can be very difficult. Go to a site for sad women and the stories are of angry men. Go to a site for upset fathers and the men say the women are mean. In my experience, my wife is mean and I am angry. I am angry because she is mean and I suppose she is mean because I am angry. I think she needs meds for depression and she thinks I need help for my anger problem. I some instances I am sure there is one person to blame, but I am willing to bet that in most instances, both parties are to blame. Life is hard. I am not sure that my wife and I can fix things but I am sure that I want to. I believe that relationships take work and if I leave my wife expecting the next relationship to be easy, then I am fooling myself. I need to try to fix things about myself that I am ashamed of, but I expect my wife to be able to admit faults and try to fix them as well. The one thing that really makes me mad though is when she says things like "I told people at work that you swore in front of the baby". Trust goes right out the door. I am not telling people about the nervous breakdown that my wife had. There has to be trust. We all need to look at ourselves. I once got mad at someone on the subway to work and had a bit of an argument with this stranger. Then I noticed a co-worker was in the train. All of a sudden I was embarrassed. The real question became... why am I doing things that I am embarrassed or ashamed of at all? I can't control what other people do but I can control what I do. We all need to self evaluate more often. Period.

Ok I have to say I understand and that is sad to hear. As a guy that has been in a very similar abusive relationship for 17 years buying my time with my kids. Gave up. Or orate America to be with her more trying to fix it. My old jobs I always made way over $100k a year and it was never enough for her. She has called me a looser and an ******* for years. I have tried every extreme in the book and finally just give up, I too am done and quit. So I too feel your pain. Ps I cook, fix stuff, clean you name it but nothing I do is ever good enough and it is always more more more with her, she is beautiful but the price I am paying is more than I can bear.

wow, perfect timing. we just had another blowout tonight and he told me what he really thought of me - no holding back at all.
I had built myself up over the last few months and now I'm back to square one and feeling like absolute ****. I think this is the beginning of the end and now I'm feeling so bad about it all. Is it my fault? Could i have done stuff better? Could i have been a better partner?
I feel so damn useless right now and sometimes think about packing up and going overseas.
All my friends tell me to leave and that he's not right for me and that it's not fair I keep putting up with his ****. I've tried and tried and I give everything and am always the only one to feel like I'm nothing.
Thanks for posting when you did, it's good to know that there is SOMEONE out there who I can talk to :o)

I'm in similar situation - Bide your time, get prepared and develop your 'exit plan'. That's what I'm doing! Good luck!