It's Like I've Always Been Angry At Him For Something But...

My husband has never been an easy person to be around. I knew what I was getting into when we got married. So it wasn't a surprise when marriage became increasingly difficult to manage. He has lots of issues, he suffered severe phisical and psicological abuse from his mother and stepdad since he was a small child. So I've always tried to be understanding with him. I'm a rebel and even though he has always tried to be controlling he has never been able to control me. For a long time we have managed a fairly stable marriage, he has lots a good qualities as well. He is a good hearted man, he doesnt drink or smoke, and I have never had to worry about him being with another woman. Our troubles began when his alzheimers striken mom came to live in with us. It is something we discussed and agreed on. We were both going to take care of her. But when her alzheimers took a turn for the worst. He didnt want to have anything to do with her anymore. (we also have two small children... at the time they were 2 and 3 years old). She became increasingly violent, and uncontrollable. We hired someone to help me, but it was still lots of work. Many times I left my kids unnatended because she needed a diaper change or a bath and it took us sometimes from 2 to 4 hours to get her tidy . What bothered me most was that he was unnemployed at the time and he would spend all his time in our room watching tv while I had to deal with everything. I told him several times to put her in a home because I couldnt take care of her and the kids but he wouldnt hear anything about it. Eventually she died due to respiratory problems so I though things were going to be a little less chaotic and they were. But now he couldnt handle the guilt of her passing and he stayed in bed for almost a year. It made me so angry to see him just lying there. I felt like a single mom of THREE. I had to see how to pay bills, take care of the kids, his medications, everything. I live in a country called Honduras and everything is very expensive here so just to give you an idea we pay $400 just on electricity. I dont know how it is in the US but for me $400 is ALOT. Since he never found a job as an architect we decided to open architecture design studio. I borrowed the money and we opened it. Now he is doing better but since we had so many unpaid bills that at the beggining we would see very little money bcause we had to pay those. But what happened.... Now he is spending all his income in modifying HIS CAR!!!!! and Im still trying to pay all the bills all by myself. Everytime a try reasoning with him he tells me that if Im not happy with him I could always file for divorce. I love my husband dearly but I am furious with him!!!!!!!
leticiab leticiab
1 Response May 11, 2012

You sound like me. My husband is like a grumpy teenager who refuses to get a decent job to support our daughter and me. Good luck - I feel like single mom too but I have 1six year old and one 47 year old!! Love and hugs Momamoo xxx