Why Am I the Last Person On His List of "People to Satisfy"?

I am so furious at my husband right now, it's hard for me to see straight. We have been planning to go to this group therapy meeting to help us quit smoking for THREE WEEKS now. THREE. I have it written on the calendar. We talked about it today.

I kiss him goodbye and he goes to work. Less than 15 minutes after his shift starts, he calls me up, and lets me know that his manager has told him that they're 17 hours down at the store, and asked him to work. He took the shift, and was just calling to let me know that he now can't make it to our meeting.

I can't believe this. He knows how much I've been looking forward to going, he KNOWS that I can't go alone, and he KNOWS that this will completely infuriate me. And when I tell him to say no, he tells me that he's ALREADY said yes. Without even ASKING me!

He has no clue what it's like to be stuck at home all day, and he never takes me out anymore because when he gets home, he's too tired from working to do anything. I am literally at home, all day, every day. I don't even get the pleasure of doing something simple like buying groceries, because he works at a grocery store. So he brings them home with him. I can't even drive anywhere because our car is a stick shift, even though everyone knows I don't know how to drive a stick shift.

I am stuck at home. Everyday. All day. And the ONE ******* TIME I ask him to go ANYWHERE with me, he BLOWS ME OFF to brownnose his manager.

So, I ask, why is he ALWAYS willing to blow me off in order to satisfy someone else? Why is that stupid job more important to him than doing ONE THING for me? I understand that we need money, but it's not like I'm asking for him to drop the whole shift, I'm just asking him to do the shift like he promised he would. Instead, he extends his shift for another 6 or 7 HOURS, so now, not only will he miss our meeting, but he will be exhausted and have no time for me when he gets home. Again.

I'm just really frustrated because he never used to be like this. He used to always put me first. It's like, now that I'm his wife, he feels no compulsion to make me happy anymore. Before we were married, he loved having sex with me, would do it every night, several times if he could. Now that we're married, I'M the one that has to bully him into it. My body hasn't changed since before we were married, if anything, I've gotten better looking. But for some reason, nowadays I just get the feeling that I annoy him, and he would feel better if I just left him alone.

Well, that's all well and good, I'd do anything to make him happy...but my heart screams for him when he does this. I want my sweet, sensitive lover back, the one who liked holding my hand and liked to spend time with me. I don't like this man who would blow me off to stay at work. He's not going to be working there forever, he's going to be married to me for the rest of his life. It seems like it would be an easy decision, but apparently, I just don't get it.


Tell me somebody else feels the same way?

ari1 ari1
Mar 9, 2009