Is It Me?

I think I'm losing my mind.  I've always been an emotional person, but now I'm pregnant and it's just ridiculous.  I think I'm happy in my marriage, but why am I crying all the time.  I was crying before I got pregnant too.  I know some of it's because of that, but not all of it.  My husband is a young (10 years younger than me) Latin man from Uruguay.  I am quite aware of the stereotypes that accompany Latin men.  I knew them going into things.  He actually started out as a one night stand and never left.  I'm pretty sure in the beginning he was with me just for his green card.  Then I saw him get emotionally invested.  He broke up with me after 1 1/2 years of being together and came back.  We got married shortly thereafter.  And now almost 3 years later, I'm pregnant.  We weren't trying or not trying.  It happened naturally and we are both happy.

What makes me so angry is his inability to take my feelings into consideration.  He doesn't understand why it's not OK to be out of the house every night at kickboxing for 3-5 hours.  I know what you're thinking, and he is really at kickboxing.  We've been down that road before and I trust him that he is not cheating.  He doesn't get how sometimes he needs to do something for me just because.  He doesn't get that he can get everything that he wants all the time.  He doesn't get that saying hurtful things even if you don't mean them still hurt.  He knows exactly what my fears are and says things to push my buttons.  I hope they are said just to push my buttons.

Most of the time we are kidding around, laughing, just watching TV.  But sometimes when I feel him pulling away we get into these deep conversations about the state of our relationship and that's when things are said that cut me to the core.  First he says that he should leave and then later he'll say, but where is he going to go.  He always says he loves me and that he doesn't want to do anything to hurt me because I'm such a good person.  When I asked him if he really wanted this baby, his first reaction was it's the best thing to happen to me and my mother.  Later he was excited and always kisses my belly.

I really need other people's feedback.  I'm making my family crazy always talking about these things.  I need to hear a neutral person's point of view.

bluegold12 bluegold12
1 Response Mar 13, 2009

I'm not sure what you mean by neutral. I wouldn't mind hearing anything anyone had to say about mine. <br />
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You can do some research on gender differences and try to figure out why men seem to act this way. Go and search for academic journals, then gender differences under psychology. In the bible it asks woman to respect there husbands, and husbands to love there wife's. So that tells me females have a hard time having respect for someone that doesn't act in love with them. And men have a hard time loving someone who doesn't respect them. It also states that people that get married are in for hard times, and it's just plan better not to. Many single mothers never get remarried again for that reason. I guess it's just easier not to deal with them, from there point of view. <br />
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Mine doesn't push my buttons any more, but continues to act like an idiot. I have a hard time believing he is actually as dumb as he acts. He knows he wouldn't have much of a life without me. And I'd rather not have him around, so he kisses my ***. Maybe that's what the men in our life's want, and since they don't get the *** kissing the way they'd like it, they complain about how some other girl could do it better. I've told mine to go, find the girl of your dreams. The waitress the bartender, just leave. I've even thought about giving his number to either woman. Some that I know he's found attractive, since I know he can't live without one in his life. My husband **** doesn't work, he's got no GED, GOT NO LICENSE, AND IS TRYING TO BECOME SOBER AFTER DRINKING FOR YEARS. It's not going to happen, he's too much of a looser to get sober. The next time he drinks he'll be served divorce papers. Why... because I've come to the reality that he's a jack *** and I deserve better. And he deserves worse than me, or someone dumber than me. I'm changing and becoming a better person and moving up in the world he's going down hill. This is not my fault nor my responsibility. Though I know he's going to call me names and talk down on me to his future female friends, I feel sorry for the ones that believe his lies. I can't stay just so the next girl out there doesn't get hurt. I can't stay just so he will not become a hardship to society. I wish all the wife's of drunks could get together and dump there husbands all at the same time. Wow, what a crisis that would be for America. Drunk husbands suck elephant balls and they always will. Alonon tries to tell you not to take it personal. Maybe that's what you want to here...Well I can't tell you not to take it personal. If there is a problem and if my husband is not willing to solve it. I will solve the problem and he knows it, and he will no longer be my that's reality for you. Look up how to become assertive, you'll feel empowered to speak and say what you need to say.