Unlike Me

I have no idea why I am so angry lately. I am a passionate young woman who loves enjoying everything life has to offer without dwelling on the consequences (it can be self-destructive at times) and embracing different cultures and people. I am open to dialogue, and love being put in challenging situations. I enjoy life.

But lately... I've been feeling this anger swelling up inside me, and it's just bubbling at the surface, looking at a release. I am angry because my boyfriend and I are dirt poor and starting out our lives with suffering and sacrifices. I am angry because people are so insensitive. I get angry when people call me selfish, expecting me, after a lifetime of living my life at the quarter of it's worth, to continue this way. As if! I want to live my damn life and no! I am not going to make sacrifices. I want to be truly happy. So I have to work for it. I will be generous when I can afford it.
I am angry at the people who bullied me, at the men that hound my heels, trying to sniff me out just because I'm a woman who's not afraid of her sexuality. I am angry at the man who grabbed me by the throat and tried to drag me in an alley, who has made me afraid of walking in the street when I'm alone.
I am angry at the man who did things to my body that I can't recall without excruciating sensations of disgust.

I am angry at the people who won't leave me alone. I am angry at the racist, bitter people that live in my town. I am angry at myself for thinking I might end up like them, their stale ration of gossip on a Sunday after mass as their only enjoyment in life. I am angry at young cocky men who can't understand the word 'NO'. I am angry the American troops are still in Iraq and Afghanistan. I am angry gay people still can't wed and in some countries are persecuted. I am angry at women for not being more open and less jealous of each other. I am angry that life isn't easy. I am angry at the masses. I am angry because I am angry.

I am anger; I have become Medusa.

LittleMonroe LittleMonroe
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 9, 2010

Wow I feel I have experienced/am experiencing the same exact feeling as you. Although it may not be much just know the feeling is very real and you are not alone. Be well Miss, praying for serenity in the midst of the tempest.