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Angry As Hell!!!

I met a guy when I was 20 that I moved in with after only a week of dating. We got married 7 months later. Knew I wasn't in love but we built a life together. Thought we'd always be together. He started doing things that weren't normal for him and I started to question it. Of course he could never give me the answers I needed. He could never hold a steady job for longer than a few months and a year at the most. Never had any money even when he was working. Lost weight, gained weight, just very odd things started happening. We moved from the place I lived for 37 years, to be closer to his job, then he lost the job not a month later. Finally one night after he came home from a night with the boys I asked him to take a drug test and he refused. He left with a few of his things. We were married for 23 years. I am angry as HELL because I couldn't see what was happening right under my nose. He was cheating on me, stealing from his employers, doing a lot of drugs. What do I do now? I'm stuck struggling, to pay off his debts and he lives with his girlfriend, free of course. She has 3 young boys at home. He and I have a 20 year old daughter that he never sees. He only lives 14 miles from her.

Within 6 weeks--I seperated from my husband, lost my mom, moved, and had surgery. It's a year later and I still haven't recovered from all the stress. How do I move on? I want to get revenge, but I'm not a vengeful person. I need him to suffer. Everyone tells me to forgive him, but I can't because I'm so angry.

 

tecup tecup 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 30, 2010

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Just yesterday my counselor told me, "Don't dwell on the past and don't worry about the future, which you can't change TODAY." I agree mostly with that statement, but I believe you CAN effect a change for your future. YOU hanging on to the anger, remorse, bitterness, unforgiveness is only affecting YOU, not your ex nor his girlfriend. Let it go. Turn it over to God. Vengeance IS His and He's big enough to deal with your ex.

Move on and be a better person for YOU. As Joel Osteen says, "Take the high road."

Thank you for sharing your comment. Just reading through all these makes ME feel better, like I have some friends out there who understand.

:)

Teacup, from reading your story you seem like a really strong person. Just remind yourself of what you have been through and survived and you can make it through this. As far as the ex is concerned I believe that he will suffer. All the bad things he has done will bite him in the butt one day. Granted it might not be soon enough for you, but it will happen. Karma can be a real witch. LOL Keep your chin up and keep being the loving person you are. Good things happen to good people!!!