One of My Life's Mysteries

not to toot it but ... as witty as i am, as clever as i am, as quick, as bright, etc. i am hopelessly gullible when it comes to other humans and their methods and levels of deceit.

i usually catch jokes (USUALLY but not always) and i'm pretty quick picking up on new subjects but deceit is something i simply am lacking.

for years and years i've wondered if i'm missing part of my brain or exactly what the problem is.  although there were many instances in my life, i can think of two that were beyond all comprehension (probably due to the emotional involvement in one but the other was on a professional level and i thought professionals were supposed to be of high moral fiber, 100% ethical and honest ... boy was i mistaken!) 

i'm not going to go into the specifics, but the bottom line is that i'm simply unable to think faster than a 'liar' or to 'play them at their own game' and not for lack of trying in self defense!  it's as if i'm seen through and read immediately or something and they know i'm attempting to play their game.  my mom always told me i couldn't lie to save my 'A' ...

is it possible i'm missing something?  ... in all seriousness ...  i've been fooled more than i care to admit and it's so frustrating because there are people in this world who deserve a little taste of their own medicine but i simply am not the physician for that one. 

i used to be so honest that i often found myself in 'trouble' with people.  i 'polished' myself and gained some tact but am still my honest self.  i find it exhausting to attempt to be deceitful.  and surprisingly, regardless what you're told about how much people appreciate honesty ... they don't!  just as surprising is the fact that if you are not a professional liar, you are at a great disadvantage in the professional/corporate world! 

although honesty is considered a virtue, it's rather discouraging that i'm unable to flex my 'deceit muscle' to be quite honest ...  i wouldn't want to just to be mean ... no no no ... i only wish to be able to flex that muscle in self defense.  but alas, i can't do it ... i just can't.  it's my secret incompetency.  don't tell anyone, okay?

AbbyNormal AbbyNormal
31-35, F
3 Responses Jun 25, 2007

Aww ... Dx, you're such a doll! Thank you for making me feel less shame for my 'inadequacies' in this realm ... I actually feel a bit positive about it now ... Quite a feat there, man! Thank you Thank you Thank you! *hugs*

It is hard to recognise that which you don't have within ya. Knowing this will make you more cautious. But frankly it is an very attractive quality as it is a reliable indicator of honesty. In my humble opinion. have a good one!<br />
Dx

you're absolutely correct on every count here. i've had to begin using my brain to analyze situations rather than fortifying relationships with my (insane) beliefs that people are as genuine as myself until proven otherwise. this has saved me countless times i'm sure, however, it saddens me to have to 'judge' people in this way. i appreciate your well thought out comment and the time you put into it. it seems you've run into similar scenarios yourself and for that i can only offer my sympathy. i wish you well!