I'm feeling so conflicted lately. Part of me loves the fact that I can blend in and am totally unseen. I'm pretty much invisible. The other part of me is longing for someone to notice and love me. I think these two things are in direct contrast with each other, yet I can't decide which one I want.

I know that there are a couple of secrets I have that I never want to disclose to anyone. Yet I know that no one will ever know the real me, love the real me, unless I'm open with them.

Part of me loves being a mystery, people at work knowing nothing about me. Keeping my head down and below the radar. I pretty much come and go as I please. The other part of me wonders what would happen if I got into an accident or got the courage to kill myself. Would anyone come to my funeral? Would they even notice I'm gone?

I know that in order to live a meaningful and authentic life, I have to open up. But it's just too terrifying to contemplate. What will people think of me if they know my secrets? What I've done? Would they want anything to do with me?

I really can't decide.
imreel imreel
36-40, F
1 Response Sep 2, 2014

This place is ideal for opening up and telling others your darkest secrets and you will be surprised to know how many of us will identify with you and come in support of you. By being anonymous we don't have that fear of being judged or tagged. Maybe opening up here may help you realise that what you think is your darkest secret is actually not that dark

My secrets are unique but at the same time very easy to research. One google search and my cover is blown.

Oh yes but aren't you curious of knowing how many of us maybe holding such secrets.