Confused and Afraid of the Future

I am going to turn 30 soon.  I feel like I am having some kind of crisis about it.  I don't know why I am here or what I want to do with my life.  I don't even know what makes me happy anymore.  I am confused about my relationship. I am seeing a man who I dated and lived with for almost 4 years, then we broke up last summer and moved out.  Several months later we got back together, but are still living apart.  I am now questioning our relationship, but I can't put my finger on why.  I am not sure if it is because I am just confused about life in general or if it is because of the relationship.  I am getting panicky about moving back in together, possibly getting married to this man and having children.  but i can't see myself marrying anyone else.  It's not as if he has asked me to marry him yet, but I know that it is up the road someday.  I keep overanalyzing everything.  I think I carry on more of our relationship in my head than in real life.  That isn't fair to him.  He has his faults, but he is a good man and deserves better.  What does all of this mean??  I feel like I am going crazy!  And I am now worrying all of the time.  I have always been the type of person who can't make a decision unless I am perfectly sure about something.  This means I never make decisions because I am never entirely certain.  I don't want this to ruin my life!  How do you make decisions about things when you feel so confused?

foxxy0404 foxxy0404
26-30
3 Responses Mar 11, 2009

Im confused about the feeling of living with my girlfriend. She has a daughter with her ex-husband. i often ask myself if i really love this woman. i think there is no answer to our life, just move on like me

I can relate to this on a professional level. It's so so hard to feel confused in any domain of life. Try being honest with him - keeping it all to yourself. Lots of luck.

hey, i think you should be honest with him, holding in the way you really feel can be harmful, i do it too. i dont let out my true self, but i am now. your doing the right thing talking about it on here and getting it out. its weird how i dont even know who you are and yet i can completely relate. relax and take it easy on yourself, you sound like a smart and good person. there must be something that would make you happy, a vacation to hawaii or the bahamas or something. good bye and good luck.