Balancing Love And Family

     I have recently become involved in a serious love relationship. We have a very good time together and get along amazingly well. Actually, that shouldn't be at all surprising since we've been friends since childhood but only recently took our friendship to a more intimate level. We both have been divorced for over 5 years and have both come out of long term relationships in the not so distant past. He and his girlfriend lived together for many years. She had no friends or interests of her own so her life was his life. They spent all their time together, doing things with his family and friends. Well, I'm a different type of person. I live in a beautiful house with my 2 adult children and my grandson. My boyfriend lives in a small, second floor apartment that he had shared with his former girlfriend. I have stayed over there every night for the past week. It's been wonderful but I found myself feeling homesick yesterday. I know I need to discuss this with him but I'm not sure how to start the conversation.
     I have a very good relationship with my children. We all share the financial and domestic responsibilities of the household. We work together as a team. I'm very close to them, and my grandson. I found myself missing them so much yesterday morning that I was close to crying and couldn't wait to get home and spend time with them. My boyfriend seemed to pick up on my vibes even without me saying a word and drove me home then stayed at my house for a while. I realize his former girlfriend was completely devoted to him because she had nothing else in her life but him. I have my family, close friends, my job, hobbies and recreational softball to fill my days as well as being with him. How do I explain to him that I have a full, rich life already and that being with him isn't the beginning and end of all life but an enhancement to the life I already have?  He is very perceptive, as he showed when he asked me where I was going to sleep last night. He seemed to get that I wanted to be home but I'm not sure if he got why. I don't want him to think that I didn't want to be with him. It's just I really missed my house and my home life. 
     The other thing that's been occupying my mind is that my kids and I recently purchased  a home in a lovely neighborhood. We had lived in a house 5 years ago but it was sold as a part of my divorce agreement. I moved myself and my children into a 2nd floor apartment where we stayed till purchasing this house. I really hated apartment life. I missed having gardens and bird feeders, missed being able to make noise whenever, missed having a driveway to park in, just missed all the things about being in a house. And now, I get a feeling my boyfriend would like me to eventually move into his place. I CAN'T DO IT! I love being in a house and so totally HATE apartment life. How do I explain this without hurting his feelings? He appears so proud of his place that I don't want to make it seem like I'm criticizing or belittling his residence.     Does anyone have any suggestions?? I know I need to talk to him and be honest but I don't want to hurt his feelings. Please help.


Mrbriggs5 Mrbriggs5
51-55, F
Aug 9, 2010