I Don't Understand

I've been friends with this guy for a while & have had a bit of a crush on him all along. We live n a small town where we have the same circle of friends & go to all the same events. Every time I see him he allways comes over to give me a hug which I love & I think is awesome. So the last few weeks I was hitting him to hang out so I can get a chance to talk to him & tell him how I feel. So i ask him if he wants to go to this music event & he says yes. So we get there I pay & buy us drinks. Bout half way threw the night we were both alittle tipsy & I felt like I got the courage to tell him. He told me the feeling is definitely mutual but he had been hanging out with this other girl I knew & wasn't sure what he wanted. I told him i wish u would have told sooner like before you told me yes let's hang out & because now I know why the girl was giving me dirty looks. I feel like im stepping on toes. Then he ditches me & takes off from the event with her!! Wtf!!! So the next day I call him to tell him he kinda hurt my feelings. He acted like he didn't even care that i felt ditched. Didn't apologize or anything. Told me to have a good day then hung up. I was pretty hurt. & im pretty confused on the way men act some times.
fractalpterodactyl fractalpterodactyl
26-30, F
2 Responses Dec 15, 2012

I could be wrong... but I am going to go out on a limb and decide that you chose him because he is physically very attractive or has some other classically desirable trait.

There is a classic problem in that girls all tend to want the same small number of highly desirable guys - these guys then have no impetus to actually treat women well to get into relationships or have sex.

The result is that if you try and get with such a highly desirable guy its basically pot luck whether he will be nice or not. He has no reason to need to be nice from his perspective... so it really does come down to his personality.

Less desirable men on the other hand tend to massively over compensate and try to hard to be nice or have no idea how to approach women because they get rejected a lot and don't think they are doing the right things... even if they are doing exactly the right things! Most men never have a choice.

The same is true with women for men, its just that the ratio is probably weighted the other way entirely because most men consider probably 80% or more women they meet to be highly desirable... but I would say that being a man.

Men are usually as single as their options allow.

Keep trying. You are doing better than most women - actually making an effort to meet and talk to guys. It very commendable. I am sorry that you have been treated harshly by this jerk, but on the flipside, he probably just saved you from a terrible relationship.

Thank you so much that was really nice for you to take the time to say that. & yes your rite & I even thought about it after he was a jerk but he probably did save me from a terrible relationship

I know it hurts. but there are men and then there are jerks. A friend once told me that you have to go through frogs to find the prince. I wondered to myself…. why do I have to go through all that trouble. My advice to you is to not take it too personally. You may live in a small town but Remember, there are 3.4 billion men in the world. If you saw this guy in the entire male population he would look like a grain of sand. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. However, you learn from every experience. and what doesnt kill you will make you stronger. I’ve seen a lot. and i must say, every experience taught me how to handle people, every experience showed me my worth. Sometime we don’t see it immediately, but when we reason with a clear mind we see our worth. You are already ahead of the game because you recognized that he was a jerk. So, The hard part is over. Some women never see it, even when it hits them in the face. The sad part…..wellllll…. your’re going to come across more frogs, but make sure you know what your worth is. You are beautiful, inside and out! Big Hug

Thank you for the kind words it really meens a lot. Yes he was a jerk but it does meme me realize if he's gonna b like that I shouldn't b with him anyways cuz sooner or later he would have hurt me or even broke my heart. We r still friends but I know if it doesn't work with the other girl & comes to me I'm gonna shoot him down. Hope to hear from u soon hun!! Hugs!! XOXO