My Husband Is An *******!

I know anyone that knows me on here knows this already but i am married to the definition of the word *******!

Christmas the time of loving and giving and family and selflessness. Was i looking for a gift, was i looking for amazing sex, was i looking for a million roses and i love yous. No. I was just looking for love and compassion and closeness. My husband acted like i had stabbed him in the back because i was sick on christmas. He still had food he still had gifts but because I was sick and not dancing around i was evil, i was a *****, i ruined his day. Its so sad when you need the comforting back rub that you always give out, that you have to get yelled at and get a kick in the *** instead.

goldie25 goldie25
31-35, F
23 Responses Dec 27, 2007

Sad to say but im also married to an a******. First problems he gave me was addiction to **** and lusting after women. We finally reached an agreement on that after seven yrs.
Now we're screaming at each other because he wants to provide for his parents and sister but he does not and cannot find a job. Im the only one who has a job and he feels it is his rightful duty to give help to his family. Duh? Should he be feeding himself and me first? Now he wants to give to his sick father and he expects me to work and provide for their needs. I said we can give them a certain amount but not all the time. He expects me to always be there for him and his needs, now including his family's.
Wow, it feels like i've been kidnapped.

I married an *******. But this ******* has money. So I pick out my own birthday, Christmas, Valentine's, Mother's Day and Anniversary gifts - on his card! Hey - he's a ****, why should I suffer!

When I got together with my husband 21 years ago, he was so different from what he is now. While I was working and bringing in a lot of money, things were fine. Now that he's retired and my work is almost nonexistent now, he seems to think he's running the show, that he can tell me what to do, take advantage of me as far as being at his beck and call, and that I owe him because his pension is a large part of our income. If I had known what a scorekeeper he was, I NEVER would have married such a jerk. He seems to forget all I've done over the years as far as paying the bills and taking care of the house. I've tended to him when he's had surgeries and sicknesses, stayed with him in a city I don't like because he wanted to be there, participated in the things he liked - all the things you do when you care about someone. He insisted on having my username and password on my credit card I use the most so he could see what I was spending money on. I've always had my own accounts and I'm not used to this crap. Not only that, we just had another knock down drag out (verbal) fight about the fact that he thinks I should get his approval on EVERY thing I buy, whether it's lotion, or whatever. Wtf does he think I am, his daughter??? What a ****! I am so through with this. The biggest joke is that he thinks I'm materialistic and using him for his money. He's a freaking retired school teacher for God's sake! My first husband was a vice president of a Fortune 100 company, and if I was in it for the money, I would still be with HIM. With him, I would never have had to work another day in my life or be chided about money, but I chose to leave him and go to work. And work my *** off I did until the work wasn't there anymore. *** number 2 can't seem to come to grips with the logic that he's not Mr. Moneybags and that he's anything but a find these days due to his lousy, archaic attitude. I'm 12 years younger, better looking than him and I know I can leave and eventually do just fine. I wish I had the balls to do that.

Jeez, so is mine. I just got up to take the dogs out, tripped on the "transition *****" that he half assed installed on the floor and fell into the giant parrot cage that was three feet away from where the fat lump was sitting....not even an "are you ok" I am so hating the slob right now!

I laughed so hard when I read this. I don't know why, it was just so funny. Thanks for the laugh. Sorry your husband is such a jackass. Mine is too.

At least he didn't tell you to be careful because you might break the cage and he isn't working his life away to buy a new one. That would have been my *******'s response.

my husband is an ******* and i remind of that everytime we fight or have a disagreement, he tells me i never listen to him, well thats because hes supposed to listen to me and what i say goes, final word always, no one not even he is gonna tell this ***** what to do, and he thinks that by calling me a ***** im gonna not respond with calling him ************* ******* or **** head, hes ******* wrong, mom and me were abused by a man and no man is ever gonna touch me, although i do love my husband its just the way i feel about men i guess.

My husband is also a real jerk !!!!! He only married me because of my good income. He adamsntly insists on me paying half for everything !!!!! He also constantly cheats on me but not with normal women if you know what I mean.....I just wish I had the courage and the strength to leave him. He also yells at me and calls me every name under the sun. And what get me is: he is very ugly and would never find himself another woman !

wow. i have heard so many true things in your comments. thanks for writing and thanks for caring all of you. as for what montencof said that is so true. it is typically the cute ones, the ones that know they are cute that act like dicks, they think and feel that the world is thier oyster and that we are lucky to have them, even if they really dont contribute ****. I also can 100% relate to psac with the breaking **** and the jealousy and the putting down, its like you have to feel bad about any of your accomplishments. your mate is supposed to lift you up and support you not put you down. it is their insecurities that make them this way. there is no reason why all of these men that are being TAKEN CARE OF by thier women act like dicks, you would think they would be kissing our feet for taking care of them. but i think the reality is, that even though we are in a so called progressive society and most men wont admit it, they are very fustrated, and infuriated when we take care of them, when they dont have the means to be the MAN, so to speak, so they try to assert their power by putting us down. i understand it but i think its ******* wack. if you dont like being taken care of, get a job or get some education to get a better job, dont lash out on the only person who is trying to help you!

oh goldie, you deserve so much better ((((hugs))))

Sorry for those men, I'll be sure to be grateful to her for caring for me and I'd keep wondering when she'll leave me because I'm physically weak and basically a child in a sense. Thank you for being patient and caring for the man. (I might lose it along the way and become an *******) I'm saying sorry on behalf of all men and for my possibly future self of an *******.

lol hahahahahaha wow husband them ****** up , we all love our kids ,once we have them, but this goes to young ladies out there be single and think about ur life ,not worrying about getting married and having kids ,cuz when you do and have your kids ,is not ganna be so easy to say good bye and leave

psac,<br />
<br />
I feel your pain. I too am in a terrible marriage to a man who does not appreciate me and belittles me at ever opportunity. We both have B.S. degrees in different areas. It took me a little over four years to get mine, making A's the entire time. He only finished his after almost 10 years of school on and off with a lot of debt to show for it. I had several scholarships and have no debt. I started working immediately after I graduated in my field of study making enough money to support the two of us, not that I should be obligated to. Yet he can't hold down the simplest of jobs for more than a couple of months. We married when he finally finished his degree and he moved in with me. Now he contributes nothing to me or our situation exect to be a thorn in my side. He makes me second-guess myself and my ability when he himself has never had the balls to do anything. He tells me endlessly how smart and capable he is and how mediocre and stupid I am; yet I'm the one taking care of him. What is wrong with me that I continue to endure this torture? Why did I ever think it would be any different. He is an abusive person in more ways than one and he is content to use me for whatever he needs and refuse to give anything back. We've only been married for a few months. This was over before it even began. I hate him, and I hate myself for choosing him dispite being told to do otherwise by my family. I should have listened.

Its time to sign the papers and leave for good.
Life is out there!

My husband's an ******* too, only a few months into the marriage and he was writing emails to his ex-gf that he loved her more than me!!! I don't know how we got past that, because I was so betrayed and my trust for him really shattered, but I didn't know it at the time. He swears at me, belittles my education, ( I have four university degrees and just says I'm book smart. He's a college grad and I'm paying the mortgage and almost all the bills right now. He drinks too much, is into drugs, it seems like everyone he knows is too. I don't know what I was thinking. I was singing in a church choir when I met him and we got married at that church. I don't accept his unacceptable behaviour but I don't take part in it and it has isolated me from what he considers to be fun(!!) On new year's his car got smashed by his aunt, I can't help but think it is karma for the way has treated me in the past. He broke and door, the glass off my education degree, and smashes my things. I just don't know what to do, because like a fool, I'm still in love with him. I was working on a doctorate degree, and have just started giving up , because I feel like failure in my relationship and marriage, for not being able to change him. Now he says I don't love him. Why do people with substance abuse problems always seem to be the good guy?? He uses his problems to manipulate people and probably only married me to help pay for this house because he is 'house poor'. My friends told me to leave him so many times because they saw my unhappiness. For any women out there, it takes so much courage and strength, not to mention money to leave, and if you;re with a user, he will use you too... every emotion, every penny, every ounce of peace of mind, and your behaviour is blurred in his crazy paranoid reality which can't conceivably make sense. there must be a better man out there...

Men these days are screw ups. Its because of the **** age.
They have been programmed to think that women were meant to serve them and the world revolves around what they want.
So many men cant hold jobs, why? Because their hearts and heads have been screwed.
This generation is falling apart. All men are addicted to something.

Ohh and we met in a pentecostal church too. The a** has been going to church since he was a child. He even plays the lead guitar. But after being married for seven yrs., ive been in misery babysitting him. Its been talked about in church a lot not to watch p*rn, when i caught him doing this, he was even the one who was extremely mad and denied that he was watching. I just caught him redhanded! But no, he still thinks he's innocent and im the one at fault. What?.!

Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. It'll help when everyone in an abusive relationship opens his/her eyes to reality. Draw a line and decide when enough is enough! Do not accept verbal abuse. You have choices, leave forever (the abuser rarely changes), stay and do not accept verbal abuse or otherwise. Men find women who will accept their unacceptable behavior. Not your fault! You are not responsible for his happiness! You are responsible for yours and if you have children, for their well being. Take care,

i could go on and on about my husband of almost four years, but I would rather most likely say that he is an inconsiderate ******* that puts me down and does not support me financially or emotionally! He only cares about his mountain dew and cigarettes. He used to yell at me about drinking vodka, and since that is gone he just finds everything else to ***** about.. He's a ******* *****!!!! Any advice??? also, he seems to wonder why I don't want to have sex with him. {I would consider someone else}...

and on top of it all my husband has no money. i stay for the opposite reason. i take care of him, go figure and would hate to leave him stranded. sigh!

My situation is exactly like Mistymissy, my husband is a ******* selfish *******, the only thing I now wish is if I have enough money, I will divorce with this asswipe.

My hubby is so selfish... He only think of himself. I always wanted to keave him. I wish i have enough money.sometimes, i wish i never meet him. He really a mistake. And i always saying this...why cant i leave him. Bec he provides my every needs. And my kids needs. But the respect from me, he lacks.

Im the one who has money and yet im still here with him. What's wrong with me? Courage. Courage is what's missing.

I hope all of you guys have decided to leave your abusive spouses! Please look inside yourself and know that you are worth while, you can make changes that really do make a difference. The first step is always the hardest, but I promise you thatthe first step will be the best step forward to an adveture well worth while. Be selfish for you first. everything else will fall into place...LEAVE NOW!

my husband is mean and selish along with his crappy family im so stupid for being with him and loving him i know because i have put up with this ******* for so long, he has walked out on me cheated on me called me names from fat ***** to **** off *****, i have cried so much of my life away over this loser. what the hell for! im waiting for this ******* ******* to leave me one more time and im done i wont take him back.... **** it

dont even wait for one more time. dont give him another chance.

See and here is where the dissapointment comes in agian. i can't do *** for tat it is just not in me. If he gets sick i will be right there with a warm cup of tea and some soup, i just wish i could get that back!

Im the same exact way. I give but i never receive.

No you will eventually find your wings.(or a shotgun :P)

exactly when he is sick the whole ******* world has to stop. i can't stand it! but i am the biggest ******* for staying!

I'm just picturing his dessert w/ a little exlax in it... but that's just me. <br />
<br />
Keep your chin up and smile often... it will make him wonder what you're up too.<br />
<br />
xoxo<br />

I'm sorry he was sucha ***. That is just mean! But I bet if he was sick he's expect nothing but babying for you!

I feel for ya, girl! My hubby was a real jerk during X-Mas, too. Wanted to know when I'd get back from a family dinner cause he needed MY car to go running around!! (since his is broke down). Also lied to HIS FOLKS about something on me! =O Yeah, some husbands are just REAL FUN, aren't they?? * oozing sarcasm here*