Friday Night

I am feeling so disappointed right now.  I should have had a fabulous night out - I was on the VIP guest list for this brilliant night full of mods and northern soul music, I even got a free cd, but he wasn't there - the man who i've been obsessing over the past month.

I met him years ago, when I was about 22, again at one of these wonderful soul nights.  We always flrted, but nothing ever came of it.  Back then,  I wasn't even sure that I fancied him as he was older than me - 9 years older, but I did like him.  He was so friendly and made me feel good about myself.

Throughout the years, we would randomly bump into each other, but he either had a girlfriend or I had a boyfriend, so nothing ever came of it.

Then last month, Valentine's Day - he got in touch with me on Facebook.  I felt really excited and answered back and looked at his photos and could see he had improved with age.  We restarted our flirtation, and we were getting on really well - after all these years we were both single, so maybe something would happen this time.

I soon realised I was not the only woman he was flirting with.  I understand it's my issue not his - after years of flings, I was ready for something a bit more meaningful.  But he, recently out of a relationship, was more up for flirting with lots of women even if he wasn't shagging about and I found myself feling jealous, even though I didn't have the right to.

We arranged to meet up, but he couldn't make but didn't bother telling me, apologising the next day.  I wasn't sure he really was interested, so I questioned him, and he became defensive, so I deleted him as a friend.  But we emailed each other the following week and he took my number and called me and we spoke for two hours.  We arranged to meet that weekend and made friends again on facebook. 

I was excited about seeing him, and wrote on his wall that I was looking forward to it and the time I was to arrange.  I really didn't think about the implications of doing this so publicly - but it really pissed him off and he cancelled on me.  We argued, through email, and I said things I didn;t mean and felt really stupid.

I tried to apologise, but I felt hurt by his accusations and felt he should apologise to me too.  I thought he wold be a this soul do as his friends were there, but he was a no show.  So I am disappointed because as much as I want to forget about him, I can't.  I dont know what else to do.

winirella winirella
Mar 27, 2009