Smack Talker

I have a friend.  I'll call him S.  S and I have always had a special relationship.  I've known S for about 3 years now.  He's a few years younger than me.  Over the summer, I knew about an unrequited love he had for a friend named A.  Lately our friendship has grown and our unspoken attraction and bond was finally brought to light through a deep conversation.  Then we slept together.  A few days after he rolled with A and begged her to give him lap dances.  After he went away a couple days later, two mutual friends of ours (a couple I'll refer to as M and B) spent some time with me.  They enlightened me to some things he said about me.  According to S, I messed up a deal that went down with A by sleeping with her benefactor.  This I did not do.  I am not promiscous at all!  To him all I am is a toy for his manipulations instead of a unique, beautiful creature.  From what B quoted to me from a conversation her and S had minutes before, I am "stagnant", and "party centric".  I am "a negative source and a bad influence".

Honestly, this hurts worse than a bad breakup.  At least with a breakup it's over with.  And what makes it the most awful is that I fell for it.

theophania theophania
22-25, F
3 Responses Jan 8, 2007

This is a problem in almost all relationships. If you go to bed with someone who considers it 'easy', then you're done. That person's impression of you changes forever. He or she will think that since you slept with him/her so easily, you would have done it and will do it easily with others. It's hard, if not impossible, to break this impression once you have done it. The best is to make sure you don't have a 'second' example who can confirm what person A accuses you of (i.e. being easy).<br />
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Stand by what you believe you are. If it worsens, you could go out and claim that S took advantage of you by promising you commitment (that would be a lie though ... but then, S is lying too).

No, you didn't grasp the story. A didn't like S. A has a sugar daddy that S accused me of sleeping with to some other mutual friends in which I didn't do. there is no bad blood between A and I due to me sleeping with S. There is bad blood between S and I because after I slept with him, he dropped me like a rock off a cliff. It was only after I hung out with some of our mutual friends that I found out that S had been playing me all along.

you are kind of in the wrong if you knew your friend A liked S then why would you sleep with him but you should of also told A how you feel about S and then the best thing would have been for neither of you to get with S for future reference if your friend likes a guy don't sleep with him and if you have feelings for that same guy you should let your friend know -it cuts out a lot of confusion