Way Too Easy

I used to call it being "very forgiving." Now that I'm all grown up, I know now that there IS a difference between being "very forgiving" and being STUPID in all caps with lots of emphasis. People don't even have to apologize most of the time. I just... suck it up and forgive them. Which is not a good trait to have.

There have been many times over the course of my life that I should have put my foot down and said, "No! You're not getting me back that easily anymore, you went too far this time. You want my love/friendship/trust back, you're going to have to re-earn it and make it up to me somehow. I'm not handing it back to you that easily this time."
But I never did... I never did.

I'm all for forgiving those who wrong us and all, even if it takes a while, as long as it is done eventually. However, there comes a time when you must not permit those you love to take advantage of that and hurt you as much as they want because, hey, you're easy to win over anyway. You're easy to get back. No big deal. You'll get over it. Everything will be fine. It's okay to be forgiving, but not in such a way that your pride is compromised. This is where one must develop a backbone. Nobody will respect you if you don't respect yourself.

I have a backbone with people I don't care about. It's easier to stick up for yourself when you don't have an emotional tie with the person you're standing up to. Everything is easier when there is no type of love or similar feelings involved. What I need is to develop a backbone, not just with the people I don't give two ***** about, but with those who matter as well. I'm hard with everyone else, but I melt like butter into the hands of those I cherish and that's what must stop.
deadmoon deadmoon
22-25, F
May 17, 2012