Emotionally And Otherwise

I'm tired. Really tired. BONE TIRED.

I've been through much hardship in my life, since a very young age, and I struggle with the baggage and leftover trauma every day of my adult life. Recently I developed fibromyalgia, and it has turned my life into a living nightmare. When I'm not in pain, I'm so fatigued that I can do nothing except sleep all day long and even into the night. Things that everyone else takes for granted (like showering and housework) are extremely difficult for me now.

Since I am tired and in pain all the time, you can probably guess I don't get out much. One trip to the grocery store and I hurt for days after. My social life (what little I had of one) has all but dried up, and most days I don't even feel like talking to anyone because they have interesting things to talk about and I am able to contribute nothing except how much I hurt, or how much I have slept. Romance? Not gonna happen. I won't even waste time typing about it.

Life sucks for me right now. It's really only my faith in God that keeps me hanging on to the tiny shred of hope that some day things will change for the better. It's all I have.
SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit
36-40, F
3 Responses Sep 14, 2012

I feel the same way, but I turned off my humanity so I no longer feel pain, or regret. It's easier that way. But some people don't have that humanity switch, unless your vampire like me. I still feel like all the good things I had in my life are gone. Ever since moving away to get out of foster care. I was separated from my family. My social life is gone as well. I know that I am outgoing, and very active, and talented. But none of that matters because I have no one to share it with anymore. So I wait to be reunited with my siblings. I'm 16, I can try to move back to my home town, but who would take me in, all my other family is not able, cause their is no room for me, but I don't give up or look down. I look ahead, but stumble by looking at the past, because the past was were I had it all, I human life, so perfect for me, friends, brothers and sisters, a dad, and a single struggling mother, who seem to lost her way due to drinking, and being abused. I'm alone out on this island I live on. I'm alone with the grandparents I live with, their from my dad's side of the family. My real dad, they don't understand me, they don't know what I want. It sucks. But the best thing is going to school and talking to people, and being me. I'm so tired as well. SometiMES i Feel that I should just fall asleep for 1000 years, than wake up, I'm not ready. I'm out of it. My soul is crushed but my spirit is true. My heart is shattered. My lips are soft. My eyes burn away like fire. My face tells a story of beauty, hate, and confusion. What will be for me later on in life. It's now that I want to be in Grow up with my siblings. That's all I want, but they make it so hard for me.

You have faith as a non believer I envy you. Be strong be positive and above all be you.

I can't imagine what you must be going through. Hoping and praying for the best. Hugs!

Aww thank you, Indie. :)

You're welcome!