Im Fed Up

some days getting out of bed is hard .oh yes my sad existance has took me to depths i would have never known. i am crying inside.
people say how are you how is your life doing? i say yeh great or just say something like fine in a quiet voice .inside i am a child crying
for help not knowing where to turn in life what road to go down i am lost almost in a sea of antidepressants itake everyday are just sweets they do nothing.i know i dont fit in i feel like i have a social disease .i am so lonely i just want to be happy i want to change it but i dont know how im in my late thirties.time goes fast.i am a shy sensitive guy who does not have luck in life in any shape or form.
my mom calls me a loser a failure.i never had a proper girlfriend either .im just upset when i see happy couples together and realise that
will never be me maybe if i was gay i would be better off because girls women think im ugly i have no idea what to do when my mom dies
i live with her she is 62 .18 months ago i lost my job .my brother got a new house and has a son who is full of hate anger bitterness
jealousy . i hate happy loving couples who cant keep their hands off each other kissing and cuddling in public on a train in a lift even in the
computer store. why dont u save it for the bedroom so losers like me cant even get more upset im raging sorry thanks for reading x
defoekeane defoekeane
36-40, M
2 Responses May 21, 2012

u have to change ur yourself first
then start new life
not to be jerlous for them
stay happy
dont know God will give u someone who will love more then them
urtime will come there are many trials you have to go through

it hurts that it seems that you dont fit in, mostly because people sometimes refuse to see what uniquely stands out...