My Family Makes Me Feel Worthless

I just really don't know what to do anymore. I'm basically locked up in my room because of this. Every time I am around my family they make me feel like I am worthless. Like I should just go die! They make me want to put a gun to my head and kill myself. It has really gotten that bad. I've never really been close to anyone. I am shy so I don't have many friends at school. I am even shy at home. My dad makes fun of me for being shy. He also makes fun of me because of the kinds of music I listen to and the things I like. Every thing I do is stupid or wrong. Apparently I can't do anything right. My brothers seem to think it's ok to treat me like this because my parents do it all the time. I'm usually in my room the whole day. My parents act nice and tell me to come outside of my room for once. When I do they start yelling at me or make fun of me for something, and they wonder why I don't like to leave my room a lot. I cry a lot. Pretty much every night. They lower my self-esteem. I even start to see myself as worthless. I often cut myself and starve myself from this. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just can't stand this feeling anymore! I'm so frustrated at my family for putting me down and for making me feel like I'm worthless. I'm so tired of crying. It's so frustrating knowing that I'm not old enough to escape this yet.
So if anyone has any advice I could really use it now.
TheStrongCupcake329 TheStrongCupcake329
18-21, F
10 Responses Feb 23, 2013

Hi, I do realize this was two years ago, but a similar thing happens to me. My mom calls me her nightmare, her greatest disappointment, and just about any curse word you can think of. Sometimes she hits me and I get "sent outside" often. The police have come over three times. I only have two more years until I am of age to live by myself, but two years seems so short, but so long. I want to be happy when I grow up. I want to die thinking I wouldn't change anything. But it becomes harder and harder. I have cried myself to sleep for about five years and now it is becoming to the point where I don't feel it anymore It hurts in an inactive way. I am strong and I don't cry in front of people kids call me names all the time and I just pretend like they just called me beautiful. I want to love my mom but I feel like honest deep down she doesn't love me, like if I just died at birth there would be no difference. Anyways think of your future and not your present, because one day it truly all won't matter and you will be free. But if you give up now, you are giving up on your best self, May sound cheesy but honest. You can inspire others, even if its just your future kids, or even a worker in a fast food restaurant. Every life counts.

Hi, I felt the same way for about 2 years. My parents and I had such a bad relationship with my mum I would intentionally look for ways to kill myself in my room. I have struggled with self harm and depression but i can promise you, LIFE IS WORTH LIVING. you are only stuck with your parents until you are 18, and then you can move out. Just find yourself one friend, even if they are on the internet, someone you can talk to when you need to.
I've been through a lot of bad things in my life, and I'm sure you have to.... but please, be strong. I know its hard and you just feel like dying and you're so frustrated with life and everything around you, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

thank you

I urge you to Know this, that the way your family is treating you is flat out WRONG. Make no mistake, you are being abused! Just because it's the way it's always been, or it feels normal to you, by no means makes it one bit right or acceptable. I emphasize this because they may have already hurt you badly enough to rob you of much of your self-esteem. If you ever notice that you start accepting and believing this crap they've been handing to you as the truth, it's time to take extra good care of yourself and to remember : they are failing you here, not the other way around! I too struggled with a similar situation , and the sad truth is that your parents were likely mistreated - the cycle continues and the same bad habits can live on for generations. The good thing is that you are aware of this problem and the pain and damage that it can cause. Also know that you do not have to stay there! Call CPS child protective services or your police. There are people there who want to & can help you. If your very life is at risk - and if you are cutting yourself it is - these people are legally obligated to protect you from from your family. I urge you to at least let someone who is safe know. That act of you taking care of yourself will help you start gaining back your integrity and self esteem.

First of all: hi. I really hope you're feeling better by now :)
Second: I can totally relate. Parents are people that sadly, you have to deal with. I understand you not going out of your room because you need to isolate yourself, but maybe you should try letting something support you until you can support yourself. I don't mean running away; that's not a healthy solution, and there are a lot of risks to running away...
Anyway, what I mean is that I get it. Being shy sorta sucks, because you don't have a supporting group of friends to talk to. So start with yourself. Find a passion and immerse yourself in it. Keep yourself busy- maybe it's art, or running, but don't let your wrists be your outlet.
Being shy and reclusive means relying on yourself. That being said, keep yourself in the best shape possible, self-esteem wise. It sounds incredibly stupid, but writing down attributes- things about yourself can help- things you like, and things that need a little work. STAY STRONG!!! And remember, no matter how many times you fall down, you ALWAYS have yourself. Other people will **** you off, but a little time to yourself can prevent you from feeling worthless. Learn to trust yourself- you are your own person, and learning to not criticize yourself is a necessary life skill :)

Sounds like you're the scapegoat. I was one too at your age. My parents and my siblings treated me like dirt. It's not your fault, it's your parents fault. You should get a job and move out. The rest of the world IS NOT going to treat you like this. You sound like you're suffering from dysfunctional family BS. They love you, but they are sick too. Get away from toxic people !! Don't cut yourself either !

You may be the family scapegoat and black sheep try not to let their dysfunctional behaviors create a false reality about yourself. You're great.

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You can't choose your family. I'm sure they love you very much but aren't great at showing they care. Your family's remarks don't define you. Believe in yourself and find things to do that make you happy. Meet new people, don't isolate yourself. Stay positive. Once you find peace within, these remarks will just slide off your back like rain water. Don't focus on what's making you unhappy, it will only make you more miserable. Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Sometimes if your family gets too much, go for a walk. Find ways to avoid situations which do make you unhappy. Don't take things personally, this is so hard but the best way to deal with this is sometimes people are just get bored and make remarks to get a rise out of you. If you realise that then you'll it easier to ignore these comments and not give them the satisfaction of giving them a rise. Stop thinking of yourself as a victim. You are not a victim unless you allow yourself to be one. Most importantky of all, love yourself!!!

It's impossible to be completely sure, of someone else's love. But actions that make you feel worthless, those are 100% not acts of unconditional and mature, conscious love.

There's little anyone can say to explain the situation. People seem to think that pressuring someone to be more like them will make them change. They feel embarrassed by family that doesn't fit into their little world. That stuff only makes us feel terrible if it's constant. One thing I would say is you might ask yourself whether you value your families judgement; are they right? They're not. So, should you deem yourself worthless ba<x>sed on people making bad judgement decisions? Value yourself...which clearly you do. You don't believe you're worthless. It's very hard accepting the possibility that your own parents and family may never feel about you the way you want them to. Or even accepting that they never will treat you as an equally valuable person, or care about the way they should. I'm over 50 now and only recently figured out that I'm never going to feel good about myself until I give up the hope that my parents and family will care about me as much as they do each other. I feel better about myself now that I'm no longer TRYING to win their love and approval. It's not fair and all that, but humans aren't very bright when it comes to understanding how their behavior affects others. It seems to me that the best thing you can do for yourself is to stop caring about whether they will ever care and love enough about you to treat you as they should, and in time, find people to be around who do! You don't have to hate yourself or your family, just stop caring about their approval and acceptance because you are already worthwhile. Whether they ever see that truth is (has to be) their problem.<br />
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Now that I read this again, I'm not sure this advice would have done me any good at your age, but I hope it does.

You may always struggle to believe reality that you are valuable, because of the false "your bad and wrong" reality they are putting you into with their family dynamic. Some people don't like change or can't find the strength to become more emotionally aware of others let alone themselves. -my family -my aunt is also a black sheep like myself.

Do you have someone at school,like a counselor that you can talk to? Anybody? Got a doctor, tell him what you are going through! Please promise to do this for yourself! You have a whole life in front of you. No longer will you live at home, you will feel better about stuff. I can promise you this, because I used to feel like this. Things did get better. A few years from now all of this will have just gone by and your whole life changes! Have some hope! Your future is going to be good! You get to write the book on your life, noone else, make it a good book! Get into it! Start changing little things for the better you will feel free! Hang in there, hope will bubble up.