Post

My Family Makes Me Feel Worthless

I just really don't know what to do anymore. I'm basically locked up in my room because of this. Every time I am around my family they make me feel like I am worthless. Like I should just go die! They make me want to put a gun to my head and kill myself. It has really gotten that bad. I've never really been close to anyone. I am shy so I don't have many friends at school. I am even shy at home. My dad makes fun of me for being shy. He also makes fun of me because of the kinds of music I listen to and the things I like. Every thing I do is stupid or wrong. Apparently I can't do anything right. My brothers seem to think it's ok to treat me like this because my parents do it all the time. I'm usually in my room the whole day. My parents act nice and tell me to come outside of my room for once. When I do they start yelling at me or make fun of me for something, and they wonder why I don't like to leave my room a lot. I cry a lot. Pretty much every night. They lower my self-esteem. I even start to see myself as worthless. I often cut myself and starve myself from this. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just can't stand this feeling anymore! I'm so frustrated at my family for putting me down and for making me feel like I'm worthless. I'm so tired of crying. It's so frustrating knowing that I'm not old enough to escape this yet.
So if anyone has any advice I could really use it now.
TheStrongCupcake329 TheStrongCupcake329 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 23, 2013

Your Response

Cancel

You can't choose your family. I'm sure they love you very much but aren't great at showing they care. Your family's remarks don't define you. Believe in yourself and find things to do that make you happy. Meet new people, don't isolate yourself. Stay positive. Once you find peace within, these remarks will just slide off your back like rain water. Don't focus on what's making you unhappy, it will only make you more miserable. Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Sometimes if your family gets too much, go for a walk. Find ways to avoid situations which do make you unhappy. Don't take things personally, this is so hard but the best way to deal with this is sometimes people are just get bored and make remarks to get a rise out of you. If you realise that then you'll it easier to ignore these comments and not give them the satisfaction of giving them a rise. Stop thinking of yourself as a victim. You are not a victim unless you allow yourself to be one. Most importantky of all, love yourself!!!

There's little anyone can say to explain the situation. People seem to think that pressuring someone to be more like them will make them change. They feel embarrassed by family that doesn't fit into their little world. That stuff only makes us feel terrible if it's constant. One thing I would say is you might ask yourself whether you value your families judgement; are they right? They're not. So, should you deem yourself worthless ba<x>sed on people making bad judgement decisions? Value yourself...which clearly you do. You don't believe you're worthless. It's very hard accepting the possibility that your own parents and family may never feel about you the way you want them to. Or even accepting that they never will treat you as an equally valuable person, or care about the way they should. I'm over 50 now and only recently figured out that I'm never going to feel good about myself until I give up the hope that my parents and family will care about me as much as they do each other. I feel better about myself now that I'm no longer TRYING to win their love and approval. It's not fair and all that, but humans aren't very bright when it comes to understanding how their behavior affects others. It seems to me that the best thing you can do for yourself is to stop caring about whether they will ever care and love enough about you to treat you as they should, and in time, find people to be around who do! You don't have to hate yourself or your family, just stop caring about their approval and acceptance because you are already worthwhile. Whether they ever see that truth is (has to be) their problem.<br />
<br />
Now that I read this again, I'm not sure this advice would have done me any good at your age, but I hope it does.

Do you have someone at school,like a counselor that you can talk to? Anybody? Got a doctor, tell him what you are going through! Please promise to do this for yourself! You have a whole life in front of you. No longer will you live at home, you will feel better about stuff. I can promise you this, because I used to feel like this. Things did get better. A few years from now all of this will have just gone by and your whole life changes! Have some hope! Your future is going to be good! You get to write the book on your life, noone else, make it a good book! Get into it! Start changing little things for the better you will feel free! Hang in there, hope will bubble up.