Thinking About Leaving
I married a woman from another country. We dated for almost 2 years long distance. I would visit her 2 times a year and stay for extended periods of time. About one to three months each time. She came to the states and we married. I had reservations because, but I never listened to them. We have been married 2 years now and our relationship is 'ok'. In the beginning of our marriage we fought a lot. Even today, we still fight, but it has become more civil. She has two children from a previous marriage that live with us. The kids are great. I really love and care for them, but I don't think I can stay with their mom just because of them. I am divorced also, no kids. My first wife left after 5 years of marriage. Part of me wants to work on things, but each time we seem to fall back into the same rut. Last we did almost end things. Everyone packed up and was ready to fly home to their home country, but I begged her to stay. Now I'm wishing I would have had the power to let her go. I think it would be better for her and for me. In the process I wasted the cost of a one-way international ticket. These types of rash decisions with no follow-through are costing us emotionally, spiritually, and financially. I can't keep living like this and neither can she. It appears that I want out more than she does.