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How Is Marriage Supposed to Be?

i met my husband in high school, and were high school sweet hearts.. he join the military for 4 yrs yet during the first year when i was 19 i went to my first party and got messed up where i was taking advantage and since that time i confessed to my husband.. lost respect, trust, everything in me and has been treating  me like **** .. we now have a 4 year old son that he teaches  bad words, finger.. etc.. when he is nice, i get the feeling that its all fake.. with him he has cheated on me 4 times, has girl numbers always in his wallet, complains that he need his private, prono, myspace w. lots of women... i cook. clean, take of our son, school, and work... while he act like a king..  he is very lazy that drives me nuts... bugers on the wall, leave food, mess everwhere, cloths, etc... HELP ME !!!!! MY WEIGHT IS A BIF FACTOR. ALWAYS COMPLAINING THAT IF I LOSE WEIGHT AND DO WHAT HE SAYS W/ NO QUESTION, OUR MARRIAGE WOULD BE FIND...

steph7894 steph7894 22-25 9 Responses Jul 1, 2009

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Marriage is so much more demanding than most people understand when they get into it. The idealized view of marriage is manufactured by the media to sell stuff; dolls, dresses, rings, flowers, tuxeudos, shoes, t.v. shows, so on and so forth. Most times the reality is the opposite of what most people expect. Attorneys make a living on divorce wheter you are wealthy or not, for them marriage is a win - win for the rest of us, not so much. What do you think?

Dats not right at all because woman these days tend to keep getting messed over. But they don't realize w can leave when we get tired.

my comment was not directed toward the original post, but rather as a general comment to all people. Our world is so messed up and some men have idea how to treat their lady. Over the past 30 years or more it seems everyone does their own thing and women today are tired of being treated bad by spouse or boyfriend. We have to realize that if a man treats us badly, make a game plan, ask for help from family, friends, agencies so we can leave some day. No one should be treated badly by someone who is suppose to love us. If that is happening, then it is not love.

It is sad that women seem to maintain a certain level of intamacy for their spouse, but some husbands just don't show the same interest. In a marriage, I think there should be some sort of compromise on a genuine friendly basis to come together in an agreeable fashion. Why does one spouse decide that love making, intamacy stops if a child comes into the marriage, or say a friend dies and then the spouse decides sex is no longer important. We are creatures that posses the ability to make another happy, then why turn on that logic and make the other unhappy. It doesn't make any sense and if want to see our spouse happy, give in, give to the other person. We are suppose to share our love, be there for one another. Otherwise 30, 40 years without intamacy is a waste of precious love and kindness. Ask yourself then what is left? Monday night football, crocheting hundreds of sweaters, bowling? Our other half should get our love, compassion, etc.

I like what everyone here said. He sounds like a MAJOR jerk - an immature one at that. Take your kid and leave. He's probably got an STD or will soon. Think about that. Sorry - if I sound like a total *****, but I get so mad when men use that weight issue as their leverage. You deserve way better. Everyone makes mistakes once in a while, but he should have (or he could have) forgiven you and been a man about it and treat you like his wife.

Make tings good for yourself and your son. He is the one out of line. I believe in what justdeb said, empower yourself and get ready to leave under your terms. Part of that is to get yourself in shape mentally for the task.

I believe in marriage, however after 25 years of devotion minus 1 indiscretion my husband chose drugs over me.<br />
Lose the Loser, while it is in your "own best interest" to get serious about losing weight "FOR YOU", that should NOT be a factor on "why he isn't happy in the marriage", he doesn't sound like a "prize" and he is actually acting like a "spoiled child" - You thought you were marrying a "man", you need to remind him of that.<br />
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Good luck!

yes i read your story and am sorry to hear your not happy, maybe its time to move on!<br />
<br />
ronaldo from england

read the book 'hes just not that into you' or see the movie<br />
<br />
no man has the right to tell YOU to lose weight and HE will do his job... you are beautiful just the way you are..a nd if HE cant see that.. then **** some other many will love EVERY inch of you and will treat you and your son like a princess.