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I Am So Frustrated With My Life and Feel Stuck

Why?

By: iwantout101
Written on September 10th, 2011
14 years old. Not pretty, not ugly, but average. I fall into the background, but always perfered being behind the scenes to being in front of the crowd. So why am I so frustrated? I get great grades, am on the honor roll, and have a nice selection of friends that support me. Why is it that I feel unloved, when I have a loving family right behind me? Why is it that I feel alone, when I have the world supporting me? Why is it that I go mute when I have people who will listen to me? Why do I want to cry all alone? Why do I feel so powerless? Why do I want more, when I have eveything I need? Lying on my contemplateting these questions that eat me alive. I try to choke out these words to everyone, anyone, but they get caught in my throat. I don't want to be weak. I don't want to rely on people. I don't want to be loved, I don't want to have friends. I'm not good enough. Why don't I believe that I am good enough? I wake up in the morning, oozing lies and fake confidence. How can I lie to myself, and everyone I love, so easily? Never had any trauma in my life, but I feel empty. There is something missing from me. My sanity. My honesty. My self worth. But why? I feel like a whiney teenager, but I need to let it out before I explode. Need to allow my body to rest, to sleep. To not be obligated or expected to do anything... yes. Sleep. I need sleep.
By: iwantout101
Age: 13-15
531 people have read this story

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4 responses
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    SOCONFUSED1313
    SOCONFUSED1313

    I feel the exact same as you. But I have tried sleep, it doesn't work. I am so busy and feel like a yo-yo. I need some other ideas that will help please. :(

    Dec 5, 2012
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    BSachin
    BSachin

    M feeling the same... Even I've the many hopes from myself... M not alone... Everything good family friends...everything.... but.... Still I feel so alone...so Negative...M Nothing ... I think I have got new low... a lowest low...Some1 said to the same to me.... M so frustrated...

    Aug 3, 2012
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    rebeccaelesia18
    rebeccaelesia18

    It was so weird, reading this post, becuase that was me 2 years ago. Some days I feel like it still is when life gets rough. Not gonna lie, I am not what I would call "religous". But I am trying. I am praying, reaching out to God, etc. Sometimes I feel like it helps, sometimes I'm convinced God isnt real. I still can't say for sure. But praying is what got me through my suicidal moments when I thought I was losing my mind. That and running. When you run you don't think or feel anything besides "my legs hurt, my side hurts, my lungs hurt, my body hurts". Its like everything complicated goes away, and the only things consuming you are the pain and the pavement. Its a much healthier alternative to other coping mechanisms, and the endorphin rush is great.

    Summed up, I say go running (or something equivocally mindless that is easily acheivable) and pray. It takes nothing but willpower and legs to run. And it helps to have someone to believe in. Enjoy the happy moments, be present mentally when they happen. And don't overthink things. I know how hard both those things are to do, but this phase of your life will pass. I swear, you just gotta get through it

    Dec 11, 2011
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    ladawntinatful
    ladawntinatful

    I know maybe you do not want to hear it, but I wish with all honesty you would reach out to God. Maybe if you open the bible it will help you understand yourself better. To be honest with yourself better. Stop trying to please everyone else by doing what you know they want you to be. You cannot deny what is inside of you and if you do not reach out for help it will only escalate. There is only one you, be the best honest you you can be. Take a deep breath and live for yourself for one day and see how you feel. It does not matter if others take a step back or not, because the ones who truly believe in you and love you will be there regardless ...to hold your hand and comfort you. Life is not easy no matter what stage you are in or how old you are. But feeling the love and honesty you hold within you come out to the world will fulfill you and not just leave you stuck past the point of tears. Keep on and do not give up. I promise you ..you are worth it. Do not ever forget it.

    Sep 20, 2011
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