Why Does He Lie About It?

Ok so I am new to this internet blogging thing but I need to get this off my chest.

My husband is addicted to internet ****. Not really just **** - he is addicted to watching other young men and having cyber sex with them.Not all the time (I guess I am lucky) only when he is stressed. He has been addicted since before we were married but I only found out about it afterwards.  Its not the **** that worries me (although he looks at other men which bothers me sometimes) but the fact that he lies about it.  We went through therapy together  and got some answers (we discovered that it was a deep issue from his past) and I thought that we had opened the communication so that we could stop it from happening again but I recently found out that he has been doing it again. 

Why doesn't he just tell me about it?..I recently found the stuff on his computer again and found out that he has been engaging in it for over a year. If he had just told me when it happened then we could have spoken about it but finding it hurts me so badly. I feel like I have gone into shock-my body shakes, I get panic attacks and I just generally feel that if he can't be honest about this then what else is he lying about?!  Or am I just making a big deal about nothing and should just ignore it?
mrsmurphy mrsmurphy
31-35, F
1 Response Aug 3, 2010

Your situation mirrors mine. I have discussed how I feel about his **** addiction and he promises change time after time... But he hides it. He cant go even a couple of days without searching or downloading. It makes me feel inadequate. We had an amazing sex life, but now I am turned off. I feel as though I'm not good enough for him even though he tells me I am... I will post my story shortly...