Together Again

I met this guy 14 years ago. The first time he approach me, be it a senseless dare or pure admiration, somehow or another, ounce of energy gradually flow in me until it accumulates pass a climax, then a sudden urge of doing silly things to know him happens. Before I knew it, everything happens in a flash, and when I think back, I wondered how on earth did I managed to do or say something that I wasn’t supposed to?...

I wasn’t really attracted to him. I hate his guts. I've been observing him for months while he was courting me and I never really imagined myself to be his girlfriend. . But for some diabolical reasons, something struck me, whispering in telepathy mode that I have to know him and he should be given a chance to prove his worth. Must have one of Cupid's bow shot went haywire and got into me – then my eyes never left him. He is handsome they say. His features were well defined - especially his eyes that captured my soul in the first wink I caught from him. He is not really one of those drop-dead gorgeous guys, but when he smiles and his two dimples creases into his cheeks deeply, nothing on earth is sweeter than him.

We’ve been together for years. Seven years to be exact. He become my best friend. I always stood for him when everybody else is condemning him. He was one of those guys who turned bad (or got even worse…). Maybe because of his peers and other factors which he wasn’t able to avoid. When he learned about booze, drugs and girls, all those around us are telling me to avoid him. But I just can’t neglect him. I thought that our relationship has a deep root that nobody can ever destroy. I was a girlfriend turned mom when he was around. I nagged him and scold him, and luckily he listens.

We were then separated by distance. I studied miles away and little by little our 7 years relationship had grown apart. I was not always there for him whenever he needs me. I was too young then, learning the ropes. I was so busy adjusting to my teenage life, balancing my studies and social life. I also started to learn different things. We can’t find time for each other, until we both drifted apart. I dumped him and found someone whom I believed I will spend the rest of my life with.

Time slipped away. We both took different paths. A lot of things and changes have already taken place. We both moved on, found a new life and found new love.

Unfortunately, because of a difficult relationship that I've been through..., I was beginning to get discouraged.  I'm not really ready for anything else. I suffered personal disappointments and I sensed that I was getting worse and not better. I am profoundly ashamed of my perceived shortcomings. I then felt an extreme frustration over my failure and great conflict over what my next step should be. I experienced pressure from my family and friends but I was so overwhelmed by a sense of failure. I felt so bitter that I wanted to drop everything. The loss of self esteem I was experiencing left me with no realistic back up plans and little interest in pursuing any alternative and productive careers.

Just like in any romantic movie, someone helped me. That someone brought back my drive again. Never did I imagine that a long lost friend, will help me get through it all. I found myself crossing paths with an old flame. Feelings started coming back and we began to seriously wonder if we could give things one more chance. Me and my old flame began to get closer and closer with each other again.

Although things were hard at the start (because we were dealing with issues from the past), we had our share of rough times but somehow, we’ve found a way to make it through. I've never been so happy, or so in love... I'm so glad we got a second chance together...        

kismet kismet
26-30, F
Apr 1, 2007