I Feel Alone.

I have lived in this town for a year now and I only have 2 friends at my school. I lost my best friend here because she is ignoring me and I never even did anything. Now I am losing my other best friend who was my closest friend who will only hang out with me if I have weed. We used to be so close and honestly I don't even like smoking, I only do because it is the only reason he will hang out with me anymore which is only like once a month now... He used to be the sweetest guy that I ever knew and now his personality is changing because of his best guy friend. All he ever does anymore is smoke weed and drink. We had a very short secret relationship and I still love him even as a friend but now he barely even talks to me. He flirts with almost every girl and even if it is a joke it still hurts and he does't realize. I wish I was able to make new friends and get him off of my mind but I am really socially awkward and It's hard for me to talk to people. I also really miss my ex who was also my first love, he was an Italian exchange student and left last summer. It was my first real relationship and he meant everything to me, we had a lot of fun times. I don't know why but he cheated on me and for some reason I forgave him.. We were together for 7 or 8 months and I still think about him every day. We used to Skype and talk every day during summer after he left and he was one of my best friends. He soon got a girlfriend and has now forgotten about me and wont even say hello on the chat in Skype when he is online. I feel alone in this town and I'm starting to feel depressed. I wish I had friends who loved me for me and I wish I could meet a guy who loves me for who I am and not what I look like or how dumb I can be and will be my best friend...

bayleezan bayleezan
18-21, F
May 13, 2012