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Really I have no idea. About anything.

Who I am, what on earth I am doing, what I am doing on earth, if i like you, if I like me, if I want to be here, if I want to be anywhere.

Im just floating, daydreaming through it. Like Ive been drowning for so long, fighting it, trying to find home. Until I gave up and let the water fill my lungs and let myself slip out of this.

I really have no idea. The only thing I know for sure is that it hurts. I dont know why, I dont know what you or I can do about it, I dont know anything. Just that it hurts.

And giving up is becoming less of a dream, more of an option.

Tesse Tesse 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 4, 2008

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U may think that giving up is the way to go. But there is something very scary to start feeling ur life end. I have been there. Still am. I daydream about how it would feel to stand on top of a tall place and look down. Playing in the wind as it moves me back and forth. Feeling it in my hair. And then jumping. I feel it would be as if all the bad would slowly fall out of me. <br />
I want to do this so bad I see it clearly. But I felt this way when I was 18 and when I tried to take my life away and felt it slipping away I knew I made the wrong choice. See whatever ur issues are 1 at a time and slowly try to change them. Do it for u and no one else. Talk talk talk and write write write. Sometimes when we do this then we see how silly things sound and how we can change them. I hope u feel better :)

that's kind of what i was trying to say in your blog, that 'ultimately it would be for you'. i care about you, and would miss you dearly.....

I hope you stay, too. <br />
<br />
(((((hug)))))

why?<br />
it would be so easy, so peaceful, so.... final.<br />
and thats alright with me. if it were all to end right here, right now, that would be ok.<br />
Ill just fade into the background again.

but im just so tired. im sick of doing things for other people.