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Don't Want To Be So Sad Anymore.......

I've been married and divorced twice. I have 3 grown children, two of which are married. My oldest was married just yesterday, and my 3rd who is soon to be 23 still is at home with me, some of the time, the rest is with her boyfriend. I feel so alone. I always enjoyed doing things with my kids, especially my oldest daughter. We'd see each other at least every other weekend for shopping or going out to eat. All that seemed to end abruptly when she became engaged. By-the-way, she's lived with him for 2 years before becoming engaged and it didn't stop her from visiting with me before. As I said, my youngest is rarely home anymore, and I'm all alone. I don't have any friends outside of "work friends", and they're all married, so you know how that goes, no one can do anything "after work hours". I have two sisters, both have husbands that are control freaks, and they're not allowed to do anything outside the home, unless it involves their husbands. I'm only allowed to visit one of them once a week, and the other one lives too far for frequent visits. So I basically have NO ONE! I've tried the volunteer thing, but I'm not being contacted to be of help, or there's not much I'd be interested in doing. I haven't joined any gyms, I'm not really into that sort of thing, I joined a travel club, and the first trip I wanted to go on with the group fell through....I didn't give up though, I am signed up for two others. I just want someone to talk to, so I stop feeling so alone. Someone to share my feelings and thoughts with. I just don't know how to find that someone.............. : (
paulieg paulieg 51-55, F 5 Responses Jul 18, 2010

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Paulieg,
You are not alone...I just recently left my 2nd Husband...and I have my oldest in The Army - Afghanistan ...my other Son in remission from having Cancer - now lives with his Father....and my Daughter had my 1st Grand Daughter in January...lives with her boyfriend and his family....I just moved out of state to get back "home"....It gets easier, trust me....just give yourself a chance to slow down and take things in moderation...."Breathe" through it....you will be allright...time does help, and don't let yourself rush as you find yourself reminiscing about the past when your children were little....just keep "breathing" through your thoughts and memories....it is ok, I just went through my experiences.....
Hope this helps you out, even just a little .....Remember, you are not alone....
Have a goodnight, and hope to hear from you ! Take care of you and I will do the same.....

Sincerely,

Cmareenasch

I know how you feel. I wish I could tell you what to do :C

Thank you. I figured out what to do on my own. I finally enjoy myself. I'm ok with ME.

I understand you. I have 4 grown kids and I couldnt ask for any better. They are wonderful children. My thing now is they are all grown. No one needs me, at least I think. I don't go to festivites alot cause I just feel<br />
so left out. Everyone has their better half. I lost my husband in 08. I miss him so much I can't stand it at times. i hear my kids talk to their better half so mean somtimes or they are like uncaring. They didnt get that from me and my husband cause all we showed was love. Ppl would say to us they wish they had our kinda love. I am just saying that if you are still able to hold that loved one do it. If you are still able to kiss that love one then do it cause although my husband is gone from me, he left me knowing I love him dearly. We made ppl sick with our loving words to each other (smiles) I want my kids to know that and anyone else that talks kinda harsh to their loved ones. You have to talk to them like its the last time you see them. I miss my baby so much. I cry all the time. But I know he loved me and for some reason God wanted him there with him. So I have to accept it and keep going on with my life. As long as I keep him in my heart he will continue to be with me. Sorry if I got a little carried away but once i got to typing my feelings I couldn't stop.

No need to apologize. I understand what it means to lose someone to GOD. Although my circumstance was different. I chose to get rid of my 2nd husband, and it was the best thing that happened. I just needed to realize that my kids grew up exactly as I raised them, to be responsible and independent, which is exactly like me. I'm pretty good these days. I had to learn that I was happy just spending time with MYSELF! Hope all is better for you.

ill talk to you

Wow, I didn't know I had any responses to my experience until yesterday. I never received any e-mail. Thanks for responding. I'm pretty good these days. As you can see, it took 2 years to become ok!

I cannot relate to you in everything you have been experiencing but I can relate to being lonely or feeling utterly alone. It is very easy to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders but we have to remind ourselves that life is too short to focus on those who do not meet our needs as human beings. People and even family will fall short of supplying what we need. It has to come from within ourselves ( my mom always says) and that has been my biggest struggle. I sometime feel that I am not strong enough to carry the weight of the world and carry myself but many do and we have to also.<br />
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I found that talking to God at night really helps because I get it out in the open and it helps me feel heard. Writing helps, too, whether you write your family letters or even write to yourself in how your feeling. Find a way to release your thoughts daily otherwise they will fester in your mind.<br />
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You are on the right track to focusing outwardly by volunteering. Helping others is a great way to give back to the world, focusing on positivity and building confidence. Maybe look into trying something you have never done before. Take a new class; something you have always wanted to learn. Plant a garden, adopt a new pet, or find a pen pal in another country. There is so much in this world you can find happiness in. Be excited about life. You have so much going for you.<br />
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Your family loves you. Reach out to them about how you are feeling. That will help take some of the weight off.<br />
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You are in my thoughts and prayers, friend. :)