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Overwhelming Sadness

I am so sad I don't know how to keep going.  My husband left me and I have been trying to do the things that are supposed to make me survive - exercise, therapy, joining groups -- but I have hit a wall and now I am just so sad -- he was my first and only love - and for the last 13 years we were a family  - leaving would have been bad enough but he also is treating me like i don't exist , he left but everything is still in the home we shared, he went to live with his twin and that's kind of the last i have heard from him - I live in the town he works in and close to his family - not one of his  famliy members has said a word to me since he left which hurts so much - last summer the twin that he moved in with went through a divorce and both he and his ex sought me out as a source of comfort --- which i provided to the best of my ability - now that twin has not even acknowledged that I exist  - i get how complicated it would be for all of them but I mean not one word of concern for me even if they can't have extended contact with me  - i feel so betrayed and disgusted but mostly i feel a level of sadness that i didn't know that i could feel and i don't know what to do with it.  it is difficult for me to leave the house now and as time goes on i just think more and more that i don't want to exist in this world anymore.  I don't know if I can handle much more.
conhopesin conhopesin 36-40 3 Responses Nov 14, 2011

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I hope your pain will ease in time. i too am very sad. My husband has bipolar disorder, and I am disabled with dysautonomia. The pain of fatigue and depression are overwhelming. There is no relief. I want to tell you that time heals everything, but I don't think it really does. You (and I) must find ways to cope and heal. it's not an easy path. I wish you the very best. Don't give up hope.

sounds as though you're a giver in a family of takers. surround yourself with faucets instead of drains.

The best thing for me to say is to just hang in there. It sounds stupid, but everything really does happen for a reason, and you will never realize that reason if you don't tough it out and stick in there. One day you will look back on the experience and you might even be thankful it happened. This is just the beginning of a new life for you, and it's up to you to defeat the pain and sorrow. This is a war you are fighting, and you have to remind yourself to win it--and in the end you will.

I hear you -- thank you for listening.