My husband and I got together at 15. Started having kids at 18...we got married after 10 years despite his alcohol abuse, smoking weed, and numerous cheating. I wanted my family so bad and it's been even worse in the two years we've been married. He promised me no more bullshit if we got married and two weeks later, he cheated after being out all night drinking and spending the rent money. I'm not ugly, my family & friends want to be around my fun personality, so why did I deal with all this?? My bio dad used to promise stuff and never follow through, so I learned early not to trust. My stepdad took care of me like his own since age 2, but had pervy tendencies that I've never told anyone but my husband about. I just can't figure out why every man who wasn't supposed to hurt me and protect me failed to do so. I'm not pity partying, but I lost my brother 4 yrs. ago and have kept those feelings bottled up, which made me a more angry person..so the inability to trust anybody makes me bitter and angry. I used to be an awesome mom, but since all these things keep catching up with me, I don't pay as much attention to the kids as I used to. Why can't I just feel good about myself and let it ALL go??