I Hate My Life Already

well.. for starters my family are unbearable, i don't feel loved by them at all. They treat me like an outsider. It is such a horrible feeling. I have a little sister which gets basically all of the attention from my parents and she never does anything wrong in their eyes, which is totally unfair because i get the blame and moaned at for everything already. Me and my dad used to get on really well before he got a new job and worked away most of the time so i was left with my mum and me and her have never ever got on, she used to smack me and she even once locked me outside. Now she calls me names and makes me feel so small. I've lost my self confidence all together, when someone compliments me, i just think they're joking or lying. A few months ago i was so upset and angry that i started to self harm but with elastic bands, to take the anger and depression out on myself but then i found this amazing guy who i was with for a month, and i stopped self harming and i was so happy. He made me feel like i was the only girl in the world and made me feel so special. But then a few weeks ago we broke up which apparently was for the best but now i'm just so depressed again and my family are getting really over the top. I actually prefer to be at school right now and well that's something i'd never say! I can't stop crying or feeling down! I feel ugly, fat and unloved! I also feel as if i can't talk to anyone about this because they'll think i am pathetic or strange. I'm not sure what to do?
brooke1233 brooke1233
13-15
4 Responses Sep 6, 2012

I no how you feel, my family is the same way, exept it is mylittle brother who gets all the attention and my dad is the one who hates me (ma works 24-7). and on top of it all, two of my best friends died within a week of each other last month, one from cancer, and her bother commited suicide. I feel like life isn't worth living anymore. and none of my other friends under stand.

You are still young and have a wonderful life ahead of you. If you need someone to talk to I am available I dont preach or judge I just listen.

We are all beautiful in our own ways. I'm sorry that you cannot count on your family for support. Focus on what makes you happy. If you like to, then everytime you feel sad read something uplifting. Though having support is important we can deal with our problems through ourselves. If people put you down, think of what makes you great or interesting. <br />
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If feelings of being unattractive bother you often I would consider excercising. This increases endorphins that create a pleasant feeling. Certainly don't overdo it, but a little everyday may help. I am not a psychologist, but if you need to talk I would be happy to.

I think we might have the same size shoe. I don't talk to my family anymore. I miss them sometimes, but I miss the good times, which were few and far between. I feel better without them. I know people make a big ado about family being the most important thing for them, but that's them and not me. It depends on how old you are and what the laws are in your area. I was legally emancipated when I was 16 and have been on my own since. I'm 27 now. All I can really say is to do your best to ignore them because they will never change. You have to mend your wings so you can fly as soon as you get a chance. Know that life can be better, but you need to go through this pain now to become a stronger person. You're not pathetic or strange. You're in a very difficult situationand need help. If you're young enough, see if you can call child protective services because your mother is abusing you and that should not be tolerated. I hope things get better for you. No one should go through that. *hugs*