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It's No Use...

I'm just a useless person who doesn't matter. Nothing would happen if I killed myself anyway. No one would notice. If a few a people do notice, they wouldn't care, or would probably think it's funny anyway. I've always been scared to kill myself for eight years now. But it seems like I'm losing more and more hope, each day. If only I stopped being scared and actually lose myself to do it. It's like the only solution that's becoming clearer and clearer. I've had this plan recently to kill myself in a few months once I visit my home town, because it's impossible to kill myself where I'm at. All I can do is cry because I've tried everything I could think of. Thinking back, these all must be signs I'm not supposed to be alive, and that I'm not meant to live. Maybe it's natural selection? I knew I should've killed myself years ago. Who was I fooling when I told myself back then it would get better and I had a bright future ahead of me?

I'm sorry about this vague story.
MeteorDeath MeteorDeath 18-21, M 11 Responses Nov 29, 2012

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Please, please don't kill yourself. I know this is the most overused thing but it WILL get better. It's hard, I know. But living through the years will be so worth it. Just think, in a year you could have so many new experiences or new friends or something you would have NEVER wanted to miss. Please don't. So many people out there love you, and I do too (even though I don't know you, but I definitely care)! You were put on this earth for a reason, please don't let that go to waste. People care about you I promise and I do not want you to be gone like this. Just stay for longer and maybe talking to someone in person will help. I'm sorry if I didn't help but I know that it will get better if you just wait!

Thanks for sharing. I feel that way sometimes too. Its about pulling your way out of those spiral of thoughts. Clawing back up to reality. You might ask "what for ?" "why?" " Who cares " ... for yourself. You need to want to change and be the change. I know how it sounds... easier said that done...but please ... dont kill yourself.

Hey man, I'm there too, and somehow I've been there for 35 years. All I can tell you is that even though my loneliness and sadness have never left me, over the the course of my life I have been there to help a few people along the way so even though I have never gotten out of my life what I needed or wanted the fact that I have helped make a few people's life a little more bearable means that I am supposed to be alive and even though you don't know it yet, you are supposed to be to. I'm not going to be one of those people that is going to tell you it will get better and that you will get you want, all I'm going to tell you is you will never find out if it will if you decide to end it. So please don't

Your life is important don't do it! I feel like this at times but realize there's always more to life

I want to die i dont want to live this way being unhappy when there is no reason i am helpless

Im so sorry that you feel this dont worry the future is full of surpises dont kill your self its not what you want to be remembered for

no don't kill yourself of course we care if you'd, why do you need others to notice you to servive

I am sorry that you got Shot. I don't know why nobody came to visit you. They should have done that. Many people today are not aware of the things they do to other people. One thing that I think of is that you must change things in your life. You should start with yourself. The first thing to do is to start taking Lithium Orotate. Lithium is a mineral that is in food, especially milk, eggs and tomatoes. If you don't eat these things everyday, it is a good chance that you are depressed and lonely. That you are lonely is not a probleme really, because you are a guy, but you should have a job to go to, a plan for your life. Without a plan you will be lost in life. I know that you cannot feel this right now, as there is a lack of vitamins and enzymes in your brain. Every girl and guy who feels this are lacking good nutritial food. Then you should start moving yourself. It doesn't need to be much - only sitting where you are right now and shaking your hands or arms. This will make your hands tingle. This is hormones that are spreading through your body - happinesshormones. The more you move, the more happinesshormones your will get. You also should marry soon. Marriage is essential, but not before you have a job and a home. Try to give somebody your attention - your mother for example. Listen to what she says - without commenting on it. This will lower her stress. You don't have to do anything and musn't answer, only listen. She will start giving you the attention you need. Your father will respect you when you have a job and when you are married. MAke them proud. I respect your ability to write - use it to help others. Kindly regards.

Thank you for sharing, such painful emotions....

Now I understand your response. You are young and in pain. Your passion is for death. And that is wrong. If you kill yourself, you return and do this again and again until you get it right. How many times do you need to die to learn? That is unclear in your case....Get help. So much help is available. Course you much reach out to it. And you may...or not...Your choice, young man in pain....What is stopping you? More excuses? Do it. Be alive and well eventually. I am 2011A. I know these things. I KNOW.

"IT" doesn't get better!...but YOU do! If I were in your position now I would seek out a situation where you can GET "unconditional positive regard" by giving others what you need....Lil kids are great for that. Volunteer your TIME and your ENERGY (what there is of it) and play with some little kids. They don't much care what you look like but they will be honest and ask questions because they care and are naturally inquisitive. Also, find a piece of paper and a wrting implement and make a list of reason you are happy to be alive...the sky's the limit and no reason is too big or too small...