Ready To End It!

This year has been the worst year I belive I have ever had in my life and I'm 54. My sister and I have been working togeather for 15 years and this year, in May, she decided to quit. That was so hard but I picked myself up and worked on. Then in June she was diagnosed with a brain tumor with no hope of recovery. She wanted to go home to pass away, so I took her home. I took off work and took care of her for ten weeks untill she passed. Now two of my sisters are gone. And the one that is left has stired up so much trouble that I'm not even talking to my Mom much less her. On top of all that my grown son is causing problem between my husband and I. Well I can't realy say that.... My son and my husband don't care for each other. Well my son needs a place to stay for a short while and my husband says no. How can I leave him without a place to stay? My husband has no children of his own and can't understand why I help my children since they are grown. Its not like they ask alot from me but when they do I try to help...If I can. I have my Mother and my last sister on one side, my husband on the other and my son mixed in all that too. I'm ready to call it quits....I've had all I can stand! I want to be with my sister's....It's just getting so hard on this earth that I'm having trouble getting up every morning. My insides fell like it's raceing all the time. Tears flow and flow.I can't get them to stop! I have trouble sleeping so I take something to help me sleep every night. Now I find out that I have a tumor in the back of my neck that is causing my leg to hurt and then go numb all the way to my toes. I have no I can't do anything about it. I'm a housekeeper and its getting harder to work. So could you blame me if I call it quits?
lea75708 lea75708
3 Responses Dec 9, 2012

Let your son stay with you for a while...the same situation arose with me 4 years ago where I was going through a huge transitional period and needed a place to stay, I asked my mom but her husband said no. After lots of convincing my mom talked him into it, but I was only there a few weeks until he flipped out, started banging on my door, got violent, etc etc. Because of him I had to leave right then and there on the spot. A year later started I got anxiety and panic attacks. Later on followed by heart palpitations and cardiac issues, and now I'm at the point where I've had an even eorse decline in health this past year. If you for care for your son you've got to find a way to make it work. I wish you the best

Don't blame you, i'm ready to call it quits too. Although we all have our problems, you have been through so much, watching your sister die must have been so traumatic and wearing on you. Hope things get better for you :(

Hey lea,
I just read this and wanted to say I understand how you're feeling, but please don't think of doing that! I'm the same age as you, and I also have major disappointments and losses to deal with and not sure how to do that. I hope you can work things out with your son and your husband! That sounds really conflictual!
I don't have any great advice - am feeling much the same as you are. But I just wanted to say you're not alone, and it seems to me also as I get older that life is just so painful it's very hard to bear. I gaze with admiration at people older than I am now because I realise now how much everyone goes through in this life - all in different ways.
Hang in there! Things will change, they always do. Merry Xmas xxx