I Have Lost Interest In Everything

Im a girl, 16, single. I've pretty much lost passion and interest in all the things that I used to love doing. Playing the piano, drawing, playing soccer- I used to love doing all of these, but they have lately become nothing but burdens. I am unable to find joy in my life. When I think about what I would rather be doing, the answer is always sleep or die. I am suicidal-- not because of bullies or neglect, but because nothing in life means anything to me anymore. The days blur together. An hour seems to take a day to go by. Everything feels like it is just going past me because I don't care about anything. I don't really have any friends, so I don't have anyone to turn to. I'm so bored of this repetitive, burden of a life.
Vanillasprite Vanillasprite
18-21, F
4 Responses Jan 11, 2013

I know exactly how you feel. I am alone. And I don't care about anything. But I am holding on, you wanna know why? Because something or someone will come along and change everything you're thinking right now. Just be patient. And for now focus on yourself, make yourself better. Find something you love and just do it. We won't be 16 forever but just hold on. But in the end it's all up to you. When you were you we what did you dream of? I'm sure it wasn't to be where you are now which just goes to show it will be okay in the end. Stay beautiful. Xx

Hi Vanilla
I wish I was your godfather or something like that.
Somebody who had control over what you did because I desperately want to shout "dammit you are better than you think you stupid little fish!"

Piano, Drawing, Soccer - I really seriously wonder about the amount of talent one needs to be good at all of them.
Soccer requires split second decisions. Drawings requires split-years patience. Piano needs some kinda merging of the two.
And there's you with the ability to handle all the three?

Something happened.
You lost interest in everything.
Did you lose someone? If yes, do you really think they want you to join them by suicide?

Death is a release for you. But for everyone who loves you - for everyone you leave behind - whether you know it or not - it's a hanging weight forever.
If I were your godfather, I would curse myself forever and not want to live - how could I let you go without ever knowing anything?

I am a 41 years old stranger, that's all. Nobody you know. Nobody you should care about. But if you did, I want you to stay up n kickin n everything. And right now, I would give up a lot to force the desire to live in you.

If a stranger like me can care, isn't it possible that one day - you might realize you are being a damned idiot thinking about the easy way out?
That maybe, one day, you will also feel the urge from someone who wants you to shine AND is a part of your life? A part of happiness in your heart even? Maybe your feelings will come alive in time and you will be open to them?

It's that close. Please, please, please - I beg you - stay alive.

Hey girl, if you ever need anything I'm here. Anything but suicide.. It sounds like your depressed to me. If you want to brighten your mood naturally dance smile and laugh. They improve things so much. That's if your against medication. I was at one point, but it's honestly helped me. I truly hope the best for you.

Vansprite you are a good honest writer and i know how you feel. IT hurts. look hard get an assessment psych that ia theey can help with everything honest