I'm Tired Of Asking For HelpI've been depressed for almost 8 years now. I've been to 3 doctors and 3 psychologists about it. I feel like nobody is taking me seriously.. My doctor sent a refferal letter to a psychiatrist to get a psychological evaluation for me in December, and only a week later I got a letter back saying that they don't feel I'm in urgent need of help and that they are extremely busy at the moment and it would be months before I would get an appointment anyway.
So since then my doctor has put me on antidepressants, which seemed to work great for the first month but now I'm dipping every evening and I'm even thinking about suicide again. I feel so desperate because I've gone to seek help on so many occasions and pretty much been turned away each time. I need someone to help me. I don't know how to cope any more, it feels that even the little things that I should be able to deal with are dragging me down.
My boyfriend of the past 4 years has helped me as much as he can. He has really tried and I can see that, but there is only so much he can do. Recently I feel that he is getting a little tired with constantly trying to look after me. I suppose he is really missing out on a more normal life, having a suicidal girlfriend at home must take its toll. I mean, we're in our early twenties, he has just graduated from college and is jumping into a new business soon, and we've just moved into our own place. This should be a fun and exciting time in our lives but for some reason there is still something inside me that wont quiet down. There is something twisting my thoughts and making me want to hurt myself.
My boyfriend tonight told me that he can't help me any more. I've taken a couple of painkillers and just about ready for my second glass of Port. So that's why I'm here. I've now officially run out of people to turn to. I've been dismissed by everyone at this stage. I really don't want to die but I'm so desperate to stop hurting that it's weighing heavier on my mind than ever.
Jeepers89 22-25, F 4 Responses 0 Jan 14, 2013