It's Not Cute Anymore

I'm 15 years old, in high school, and extremely shy. I'm African-American and honestly some people expect me to be outgoing and have a lot of friends and when they see that's not the case some are surprised. With my age I am now expected to speak up, make myself known and have a voice. I wish I could have a voice and make myself known but I just get so nervous I can't. Some teachers and adults find it rude that I don't talk I even had one teacher who didn't like me because I was in her words "too quiet". Right now I feel like shy and quiet people are frowned upon because we are not loud and aggressive. My dad told me I need to learn how to speak up and I know that's true. They say it's not cute anymore for me to shy away and stay quiet and not open my mouth. It's even worse at school now. I want to have a voice, I really do. I just don't know how to find or use it.
DontKnowWhatToDoAboutIt DontKnowWhatToDoAboutIt
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 13, 2013

i get the same thing, people always tellin me i need to speak up. but i just dont like talking it takes to much energy and effort. my voice just shrinks into the back of my throat and i just get so nervous i mean we're talkin bright red face, sweating like crazy, stuttering, cant breathe ALL that if i have to do another speech im gonna have a damn heart attack i swear. im not even sure how i have friends. << a miracle, it seems
sorry this probably doesnt fall under the category of "helpful" but i just like finding something i can relate to :)

Thanks :) And I totally get the whole speech thing it's so frustrating.

one time my english teacher had the class vote whether the final should be a written test or a speech &amp; those bastards chose speech which i failed miserably at. im just like you all SUCK

First of all, you need to be yourself! Even if that means you are shy. That will change with time. As you get into activities you will have to speak to people. Then you will find friends. Too many friends are not good either. I remember when I was in my 20s, I had to see my doctor because I had alot of sharp pains in my heart. He asked me how many friends I had? He said that I needed to cut some of my friends and only have a few close ones because it made me to busy and stressed. So today I have only 2 good ones and I have not pains like that anymore. I have 2 children, a girl who is 11 and a boy around your age 14. She is really shy until she gets to know you and my boy can be that way to until he finds someone he can be comfortable with also. So try not to worry about it and as I said it will come easier as you get busy in life.

Take care,