High School

I'm 15 and started going to a public high school where i don't know anyone last September. In 8th grade i went to a catholic school and my class was extremely small (13 students). Not to sound cocky but I was kind of popular. One of my friends even said she wanted to be me because everyone liked me, which i thought was kinda crazy! I think I'm a funny person and I always made jokes in middle school even though i was still quieter than normal but no one really noticed.But I've always known i was shy. Since going to my new school I have made no friends. I'm only in contact with one of my really good friends from middle school and we're slow drifting apart. I eat lunch alone in the library. I feel myself slowly becoming increasingly depressed and dread going to school. I have no one to talk to because my mom just gets mad when I bring up my shyness and I just hate my step dad. Everyone at my school is really nice and I don't know why I have such a problem talking to them. I have already been labeled as the girl who doesn't talk so people don't really acknowledge me. I'm also black but have been around mostly white people all my life until now. I don't feel like I fit in with other black kids but I also don't feel completely myself with white people.
side2 side2
13-15, F
1 Response Jan 21, 2013

I cant imagine how much stress you put yourself though on a daily basis =/. Freshmen year can be tough especially if you're transferring in, high school is like a huge biggest popularity contest who ever shines wins. Back in middle school the other kids liked you probably because you were engaging, you had personality, you brought character to their group. Now that you're in a new school, you're having a tough time bringing that out going personality back to the surface and hey it's okay! there's absolutely nothing wrong with you, you're just adjusting to your new setting. Have you thought about joining a club? or doing some after school activities? Show the kids in your school that your approachable! talk to kids in the halls, ask questions about the teachers, ask the other kids about things to do when you're not in class. The color of your skin shouldn't make you feel like you have to conform to anyone's standards to be liked, we are all human. Perception is the only thing that separates us