Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired

I have been living with this fibromyalgia pain since I was 19 and I'm now 43. I have been on so many different meds that I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I also have polymyositis and osteoathritis. I just wonder what did I do to be cursed with all these painful conditions in addition to 2 small strokes, partial complex seizures,bursitis in my knees, tendonitis in my hands and chronic fatigue syndrome....WHY WHY WHY WHY....If I'm not in pain all day everyday I'm sleeping the day away and I have insomnia at night. I'm on so much medicine I should have a degree in pharmacology. I'm losing out on life because I'm tied to the bed one way or the other. I miss dancing and running. I was so good at both. I have a beautiful and precious 5 year old granddaughter and I feel so bad because she always says I wish you could run, jump and play with me Nana. If only she knew just how much I wish I could do those things too. It's just not fair on so many levels. Even just reading a novel is painful because the weight of the book is too much on my hands. My back feels like it is going to snap and so is my temper. Illnesses sure can take away your pride. I often time just wear my nightgowns around the house and rarely have the energy to do my hair. Before these illnesses I always tried to look my best. It's just so frustrating to not being able to do the things I used to do. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!
blessedmommy126 blessedmommy126
41-45, F
Dec 8, 2012