My God

03/17/08

Some of you know that I've been going through a rough time with my relationship and I have been fighting to keep my head above water. I was drowning and been dragged under with my relationship with my b/f, my sisters and every other aspect of life. I tried to fix everything myself, and failed miserably- in fact, I only made things worse. I relize that I have to lean on god, because I am terribly weak at living life. He wants us to rely on him, but it seems as if we always have different pans... " In a minute god. I'm busy. "unfortunatley, I had to learn the hard way who I had to lean on. Not jeremy, my Family or any other earthy person, but my God. I'm glad I had to learn though. I dont want to live my whole life having the illusion of having a relationship with him, because he is so wonderful and he will never let me down, never give up on me. One of my best friends and I like to look at God as the guy who will always pick up the phone, always wants to talk, will never cheat, will never leave you. He is the guy who can actually fix problems. From the words from my best friend- " I can actually lay my head down on his shoulder (the most comfortable spot on a guy)and find rest". He can wrap you up in his arms tighter then any earthy guy, and the thing is...he wont let go. This song is the song that has helped me get through. It says things are going to happen in life, but it's not God's fault. He didn't promise that everything will be ok every minute of the day...What he did promise was that when everything fell we'd be held. Held up in the arms of my God. I refuse to "pass time" I have here on this earth without really experencing him. I refuse to wait till I get to heaven to be held I want to be held now.