So Tired But Cannot Give Up...

i have been in a relationship for 4 years now. from that 4 years mostly we had fights, cheating, humiliations and betrayal. i really don't blame anyone for my mistakes i made. but from those i still know that he loves me and i loved him too so much. those only happened coz i don't want to commit as i always caught him having women that even he went serious with them. but after they found out that there is me in his life... they stopped and i always never surrender. i stayed but i did my revenge with all my games and humiliate him coz of my immaturity and so childishness.

i have been hurt...so tired and sad, and until now still. and even blamed for everything especially the big blow of revenge i gave him for that last time that i got so lost and did not think the value of my life/myself. it was really wrong and until now we are fighting over it....took the blame coz i know its a big mistake that i made. i supposed to be responsible of myself and act do the right thing instead.

from our fights...it gets too tiring really ..i tried so hard to make him smile but its always that he got reminded of what i did...but forgetting what he did to me.

i really don't know even coz until now women kept coming saying shes his woman too and planning to get married and even pregnant...its not easy...i got doubts but i love him so much.... all of us say the same thing...

i cannot think...all i did is just prayed that i will get over this and oneday light will come and things will be very clear then..i am not losing hope but i just wish it wont get too long and too late for me to do things for the better.
Jane747 Jane747
31-35, F
1 Response Sep 21, 2012

have you two thought about counseling? are both of yall willing to stop messing with other people and give each other 100% of self to the other?

i have done counselling and he said he had his.... but what i dont understand is...if we want to work and save this relationship why still talked about it ...

does he want to work and save the relationship?

he never left me.... only that he kept on asking why..not accepting my words...but he forgot what he ever did.... but its ok with me as long as he will not stop with me. but its too tiring to argue over and over about the old thing.