Family Pressure

I feel like i can't cope with the constant demands of my family. My husband has been diagnosed with MS now for 4 years and over the last 18 months his symptoms have gotten much worse. I am now his full time carer. He is only 44 and I am only 42 I think we are going to have a long hard road ahead of us. I have 3 step children the youngest being 15 and going totally off the rails. She lived with us for a while but decided we were too strict because we wouldn't let her stay out til the early hours of the morning getting drunk so she went to live with her mother. She still never gives us a moments peace though and between running to the hospital for various suicide attempts over the last year and being lifted by the police for being drunk and disorderly we don't know if we can help her anymore. My step-son is 21, still living at home and hasn't been to work for last 4 weeks because he can't be bothered. And my 20 year old step-daughter is trailing our 2 year old grandson up through the gutter with a different girlfriend in her bed every other week. We look after our grandson every weekend which is also at times an added burden although I love him to bits sometimes its hard to look after him and his granda at the same time. My own 2 daughters are stuck in relationships with men who both have a serious drink problem. My father is an abusive alcoholic and at the age of 66 my mother has just left him. She has had to rely on me quite heavily recently as well to help her move etc. I myself am currently on anti-depressants and am consulting a clinical psychologist and am currently receiving physio treatment for a badly damaged shoulder due to a road traffic accident almost 2 years ago and the constant helping my husband up and down. I don't know how I keep going sometimes.

nofixedabode nofixedabode
41-45, F
7 Responses Aug 31, 2009

my post before is a bit jumbled i didn't want to delete and start all over...after i write so much not sure if it is the site or my computer.....I can't see the very bottom of the post...and when I try to pull it doesn't work proper

You know the saying when you look around at others...what you are going though might not be as bad as the others!!<br />
after reading what all you are going though, my issues don't seem as bad.....<br />
I send you Love and Energy.....<br />
<br />
Happy Mother's Day to you just in case your kids forget to tell you...<br />
<br />
we have helped our daughter raise our grandson....he is 13years old and the Light of our lives......I wish I could be there to help you, I really do.....<br />
<br />
what helps me, is being outside as much as i can, even though I have spine just helps me to foucs and it helps with depression.....brings you much needed energy to get though ruff days<br />
I hope my comments hasve helped you some....<br />
because you need others to pitch in to help

Advice is easy to give, so I won't. Have you got any support? A doctor? Any decent, honest, stable people who can help? Seems to me you need family support, but instead all you get is family stress and abuse.

Sound you need to lay some ground rules. Love is not easy it has tuff love either help with care or move out bottom line

yup, know how you feel.

Wow you have certainly got both your hands full and then some. Remember to do something just for you each day even though it may feel like hard work it's worth it. You have to keep filling your cup as it seems there isn't much of that happening for you. Try to get as much information about MS and find out what services you can access for support and info and help.<br />
Try not to put too much energy into what you have no control over, have a good cry regularly to release some stress and be very very kind to yourself. I wish you all the very best for now and the future and hope that some good and happines comes into your world!!!!!!!!

There is a list going around. You keep strong and don't let all of this smother you. It will work out. Let the adults deal with the situations that they created for themselves and YOU deal with your own issues and lesson your burden.