Frustrated With Mom and Sister

I too, try to fix things for everyone. My dad just died from lung cancer 2 weeks ago. My  mom  has anxiety problems and some other undiagnosed mental illness. Of course, I am happy to try to help her with things now that she's alone, but she can't seem to function without me.  I found myself ready to call her doctor today about why he didn't return her call yet, but I stopped myself. She is having hip problems and probably needs an xray,but she missed his call last night b/c he didn't call in the time he said so she went to her neighbor's for dinner (she never gets invited out). His nurse today says she should have waited last night for his call and that he'll call sometime this morning. I need to stop fighting every stupid battle for her.

 The situation with my sister is worse.  We are all in mourning right now, of course. However, she is a manipulative b, who has a son fresh out of jail who needs a place to live. She thinks Mom should let him come live with her and "take care of her".  #1 Mom needs to sell the house, she doesn't get enough a month to pay this payment (they didn't know Dad was sick when they purchased it 2 yrs. ago). #2 My nephew is a people user. He will pretend to look for a job, but will take up residence on the couch and eat her food.  He got sent to jail for credit card fraud, using his dad's name, b/c he didn't want to work. My sister just wants to get him out of her hair b/c she has a new boyfriend and doesn't want her son around. I feel that she should help him find a job and get on his feet, but ultimately he is over 21 and should take care of himself . I almost called my sister and yelled at her today for trying to push her son off on Mom again last night. They always put me in the middle of their stuff anyway. Believe me, if my nephew shows up (we live 2 hrs. from sis and nephew), I will send him back to his mom.  I took care of most everything during my dad's illness and made all the funeral arrangements, with barely any help from Sis. I try to come up with useful solutions to their problems, but they won't listen.  I'd like to drop Mom off on my sis and move out of state, but I know that isn't the answer!

ryoko ryoko
Feb 13, 2009