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Especially Right Now

for all you people ho need glasses i am not just talking about the unattractive shell on the outside i'm talking about but the inside as well. especially right now. right now i am consumed with twisted darkness. i have become weak and pathetic once more and yet again i want to give up. the mystery of my future is haunting me and love is tearing my heart in pieces with every beat. i am ugly, hideous, monstrous even. i deserve all this as well. i am not the person you all think i am, i am just a pathetic waste of space who hates himself and wishes he could numb the pain away. look at me in my patheticness and laugh or its what i deserve .. .that and death.
CaptainJackass CaptainJackass 22-25, M 5 Responses Jan 7, 2011

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trust me i do suck... not just because of that. i'm letting things that don't matter get to me, i'm unable to sleep at night, my liver is not getting any better and no one knows whats wrong with it i feel pain, rage and misery constantly. i have become my own blackhole of self hatred

no john it's normal. everyone goes through heartache at some time and they don't cope with it any different than you do. you do not suck.

sorry but i am. i'm being so weak and pathetic from just heart ache and that proves how much i suck.

NO nO NO NO NO. NO.<br />
<br />
JOHN. <br />
<br />
you are not ugly or monstrous. you may be hurting, but that doesn't make you monstrous. :(<br />
*hugs* don't think like that.

NO. Self hating or not, I love you just like you are. Wouldn't change a thing. And I do not need glasses, thank you very much =]